SLACKHOPPER'S STUFF AND THINGS

A Poet's Life

2007-05-22T17:09:00.000-04:00

I love punk rock. I love almost everything to do with punk rock. I love (not in a batting of the eye lashes and sighing "I'm gonna marry him someday" kind of love, but a "Holy shit that dude fucking rocks ass!" kind of love) Tim Armstrong and Rancid and had the honour of meeting him, Lars and Matt last December.

I hugged Lars, kissed Matt and talked and gushed Tim's ear off, I'm sure. It was quite thrilling indeed.

Tim was very sweet and expressed shock when I told him we drove 8 hours (twice) to see them perform. I'd do it again in a heart beat.

Tim's album A Poet's Life is officially released today and I couldn't be happier. It is available for download on Rancid's MySpace page along with a shit load of videos.

Check this out..

Kick ass, indeed. He's the coolest.

Yikes!

2007-05-16T01:51:00.000-04:00

Not sure how I feel about this. At first I thought it was really cute and after viewing it again, it totally freaked me the hell out!

What are your thoughts?

Thank You, Alanis...

2007-04-05T10:50:00.000-04:00

I have a new found respect for Alanis Morrisette....

I have found possibly the biggest moron on the net...

2007-03-01T22:12:00.000-05:00

...or rather, "it" found me.

Quite some time ago, I posted a video I had made in iMovie just as a little experiment on You Tube. It is a photo slide show of the USA Break Dancers' Julio performing his 'Re-Run' dance. It's not the greatest thing on the net, but the pics are fun and I posted it because...well...I'm not actually sure why.

It has received a few comments. Most people don't like it and I have been called an asshole because of it.

...geez, you'd think I skinned live puppies or something...

GET A LIFE PEOPLE!! It's just a harmless, stupid slide show. It's not racist. It's not pornographic. It's not degrading to women. It doesn't even contain any nasty curse words. Just pics of a funny dude dancing. That's all.

Being called an asshole and having people not like the video are not the reasons for this post. They're entitled to their opinions and if their comments bothered me so much, I could remove them. But I don't.

This post is a salute to the biggest moron to utilize this crazy internet thingy. His name (I assume it is a 'he'...not really sure...) sparkyfoley.

Ol' Spary-boy sent me a message via You Tube yesterday. Apparently my video was extremely offensive to him and he could not resist letting me know in this oh-so eloquent manner...

From: sparkyfoley [videos (0) | favorites (0) | friends (0)]

Sent: February 28, 2007
Subject: clips????
Message:
this video is doooooo doo.........i come to see the dance and get fucking clips..........glad your a pussy and disabled comments....but youll be hearing from me asshole..........

I'll be hearing from him?! Was I just internet-geek threatened? Is my slide show SOOOO offensive that it is just cause for a personal vendetta? Sparky ain't right in the head.

Well, allow me to retort...and Sparky, if you're reading this, 'retort' means 'reply' or 'respond'...

To: sparkyfoley [videos (0) | favorites (0) | friends (0)]

Sent: March 01, 2007
Read: March 01, 2007
Subject: Re: clips????
Message:
thank you for your oh so eloquent message...don't like it?...don't watch it. I didn't post it for you.

and comments are not disabled, FYI. go ahead and comment, asshole, if you feel SOOOO strongly that it would make the world a better place.

and it is a photo slideshow, not video clips.

excuse me, but aren't there worse things out there to be pissed off about besides me experimenting with iMovie?

You see, it's dudes like Ol' Sparky here that fill the internet with garbage and shit and hate and anger. He's the type of guy who is offended by my harmless, simple little dance video, but would laugh his ass off at the videos of the soldiers in Iraq taunting the children with bottles of water or throwing rocks at the helpless, injured dog with the missing leg.

Now that I think about it, he'd be one of the soldiers doing those disgusting things.

I think my message pissed him off a bit which did nothing for his grasp of the English language...

From: sparkyfoley [videos (0) | favorites (0) | friends (0)]

Sent: March 01, 2007
Subject: Re: Re: clips????
Message:
i know that comments are disable...but FYI fuckstain....ill just send you messages on here......also your mother sucks a mean cock...just like your photo slideshow.....you fucking tool.....sorry you got so offensive when someone tells you how bad your shit is....well your not gonna make through life there boy...so you should just go and off yourself now.....that way A i dont get to hear your bantering and B i dont have to watch your waste of time terrible videos.........did i tell you to go fuck yourself?????

Now I apparently should take my own life because of my video. Wow. I had no idea it was so powerful. He's right though. It may just cause World War III it's so bad. I'm a threat to the future of the human race. I need to be stopped.

*...hey Sparky...I realize you're a little slow so I'll let you in on a little secret...don't tell anybody but those last comments were sarcasm....ssshhhhhh...*

Needless to say, I informed Rob about my new found best friend and let him read our correspondence. He replied to Sparky on my behalf...

To: sparkyfoley [videos (0) | favorites (0) | friends (0)]

Sent: March 01, 2007
Read: March 01, 2007
Subject: Re: Re: Re: clips????
Message:
Hey. Cocksmoker. Buy a fucking copy of Hooked on Phonics. Goddamn. Please tell me English is your second language or you are in grade 3, please. Fuck, buddy, please go back to school and learn, learn, learn. Fill your little brain with something other than online porn and video game cheat codes. Get a life, get out of your parents' basement, take a fucking bath and get a much needed blow job. Sparky, my friend, please, please, please meet a girl or a guy or a donkey and stop being a YouTube comment loser. Jesus loves you, buddy.

Yea. I think Rob was a little mad.

This sent Sparky into a rant containing some of the funniest insults I have ever heard...partially due to his lack of spelling and grammar skills...

From: sparkyfoley [videos (0) | favorites (0) | friends (0)]

Sent: March 01, 2007
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: clips????
Message:
listen you little bitch........thats funny...you almost tried there......just because your video was donkey cheeks its ok...you have to try to make fun of someone....try......its ok.......well ill ghet that blow job when i see those sweet sweet cocksuckers of your mothers...mmmmmmm mmmmmmm can she suck a cock...like a golf ball through a garden hose....am i going to fast for you you fucking cerabal palsy having window licker???? i will in fact continue to talk shit on you and you alone.....its funny to see you get all worked up there sally.......oh and you can go fuck jesus too

I think my favourite part is 'cerabal palsy having window licker'...every time I read that, it cracks me the hell up.

I am done communicating with Sparky. I was actually going to block him from my YouTube account, but I am interested in seeing his next comments. Sparky makes me laugh.

I checked out his YouTube account and found nothing. Really. Nothing. He has no videos, no favourites, no friends (big shock), no groups...no nothin'. His sole purpose in life is to browse the net and toss poorly worded insults and misspelled gibber-gabber at people. In fact, on his profile all it says is, and I quote: "If i dont like your shit youll be the fist to know".

I encourage all of you to visit sparkyfoley and send him a message. Let him know what you think of his shit. Here is the link to his profile...

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=sparkyfoley

There. I am done. I will waste no more time on this waste of skin. But I do eagerly await his next message. We could all use a good laugh now and then, right?

Toronto July 22, 2007

2007-02-12T19:10:00.000-05:00

My dreams have come true!!

I'm going to see the Police if it kills me.

Patti Goodwin put it best when she said, "Are you kidding? Of course I'm in! They're the fist band I ever gave a shit about."

Mr. Bon Soo...not a music fan, apparently

2007-02-12T03:54:00.000-05:00

Well, as it is now late Sunday night (or early Monday morning, depending on how you wanna look at it), Bon Soo is now officially said and done with.

I am ashamed (not really) to say the first, last and only event I actually made it to was the Battle of the Bands that took place at the Holiday Inn Friday night. And even had I not been covering it for SooToday.com, I still would have gone. In case you didn't know, I am a HUGE live music fan and try to get to any and every show possible.

Unless I'm sleeping. I do that a lot.

Shaddap. I'm old.

Three bands took part in said Band Battle; Sailor's Tongue (blues/rock young guys headed by Kyle McKey who you may have seen around town performing with Jay Scali), the Blackberries (old-school rock and/or roll with the infamous and unnaurally skinny Norm Rosteck at the mic) and the Crossed (uber-talented emo/progressive/rock/metal group still in high school fronted by the energetic and quite cute Jordan Flesher).

The Crossed took it, hands down.

This is just a smidgen of the energy these young lads have. I was happy such a young gang 'o fellas who perform in a not-so-popular genre were validated by beating out a couple of what this city normally deems as the creme de la creme.

This is not to say that the others are not talented or did not deserve to win, but the Crossed went above and beyond. Maybe a few of our local celebrities are getting a bit comfortable and, in turn, lazy. The Crossed worked damn hard on stage that night and I'm happy for them.

And making everyone sound awesome that night was none other than George Ravlich and Crank Sound Distribution. This is the hand of George. Say 'hi' hand.

I was disapointed that Mr. Bon Soo did not make an appearance. I guess he just does not feel the same affection for our local talent that I do. He'd rather disrupt the work day at Cross Country or stare like a pervert at all the local loonies that feel the need to plunge into the frosty St. Mary's River.

Oh well.

Following the Battle of the Bands, I headed to Foggy Notions for a beverage of the adult sort. Stiffler's Mom was playing. It had been quite some time since I had seen them. As I entered the bar, they sarted into what my opinion is one of the greatest rock and roll songs ever written, AC/DC's A Whole Lotta Rosie.

That was it for me. I didn't care if they did nothing but fart into the mic for the rest of the night, although that would have been HILARIOUS. Rosie always makes me very, very, VERY happy.

Still with camera in hand, I took a lesson from Canadian Mark and took a table-top-in-a-bar shot and ended up with this fun image...

...too bad I hate Coors Light...a beer for people who don't like the taste of beer but want to appear cool by drinking a beer and not soda water like they really want...

I gave the notion of going to photograph the Polar Bear Swim some thought...a small, tiny, brief, flashing thought...but opted instead to go for brunch at Shannon and Maria's. This has become a Sunday tradition ever since the Downbeat closed and is quickly becoming my favourite part of the week. Not only do I get to chow on some yummy grub, but it's always a good source of laughs and photo ops.

This is Dan sitting in front of some of Shannon's graffiti.

This is Shannon eating an apple in front of some of Shannon's graffiti.

And this is Dan's dog, Nico, and Shannon's dog, Maverick, looking more evil and scarey than enything I have ever seen. They were only playing, honest. By the time Dan and Nico left, Maverick was completely exhausted and covered in doggie spit...eewwwww gross...

"So get out and enjoy Bon Soo..."

Nah. I'd rather sleep and drink and eat and referee a dog fight, thank you very much.

My Nipples Are Hard

2007-02-12T02:57:00.000-05:00

Is anyone else as excited as I am about this?

Yes, the Police performed at the 49th Grammy Awards.

Yes, they did a killer Roxanne.

Yes, they looked and sounded amazing, even Andy Summers who is now 64 years old.

Yes, they all held hands and took a bow (or two) after their performance.

No, Stewart Copeland did not punch Sting in the head, nor did he look like he wanted to.

Rob and I have already decided that if a tour is in order for the Police, we will do whatever it takes to see it including taking out a loan from the bank to procure tickets and get to any and all destinations that are even remotely feasible.

The only thing better would be bringing Curt Cobain back from the dead and reuniting Nirvana...or resurrecting Elvis (sorry, he REALLY is dead)...or Johnny Cash...or the Beatles...

OK. There are a lot of cool things I would like to happen, but they won't. This could actually take place.

Dear sweet Jebus, make this happen!

Mother Nature flips Mr. Bon Soo the bird

2007-02-07T17:15:00.000-05:00

So there you have it. Bon Soo begins and everything goes to hell in a hand basket. It was even declared a snow day today by my boss, so I went home early from work.

I decided to do something I have not done in ages...take pictures just for the hell of it despite our current deep freeze. I did not engage in Canadian Mark's signature "walk about"...it was more of a "drive about". I may be a bit crazy but I'm not stupid! Did you look outside today? Sheesh! I'm sorry I bitched about having a green Christmas.

I finally made it to the Art Gallery to view the Bon Soo Juried Art Show. Nice job CO. I love the large matte you went with. Your photographs definitely stand out.

...these were taken in the parking lot of the Art Gallery...note the barely visible car in the second photograph...I had to wade knee deep in snow to get to the Gallery...Michael Burch was just on his way out the door to shovel when I arrived...

...and this is me being all stealthy-like inside the Gallery...they don't like it when you take pictures inside without permission...that's Curt's photo behind my head, just in case you doubted my visit...

Riddle me this...

How does a most excellent photo of Domino get turned down for the art show, but a cheesy painting of Motley Crue gets accepted? Not that I have anything against Motley Crue. In fact, I'm listening to them right now. But this is an art show.

I don't get it...

Anyway, I had full intentions of heading off to the Winter Playground today, but parking was a pain...by pain, I mean far away and would entail me walking in the blizzard...and I wanted to avoid being outside as much as possible.

...it cleared just long enough for me to get this shot and follow the directions to the Pine Street Marina to park for the Playground...

...I got out of the car long enough to snap a couple of pictures and then thought better of venturing to the Playground...screw that crap!!...in the 2 minutes I was outside, my extremities became so cold it burned...I felt like Rick Mercer when he paid a visit to Professor Popcicle or Dr. Icecube or whatever his name is...ya know, the guy who experiments with hypothermia...that guy...

I'm not affraid to admit that most of the pictures I took today were taken in the toastiness of my motor vehicle.

As for Bon Soo, I can only imagine that any outdoor events planned for today have either been cancelled, rescheduled or moved indoors. There is one event I will definitely be at, however. The Battle of the Bands is Friday evening. I can't wait to see Mr. Bon Soo rock out with his cock out!

...or as I like to call him, Mr. Hydrocephalus...tee hee...

C'est Bon Soo...

2007-02-05T16:30:00.000-05:00

I'm a wuss.

The weather since the kick-off to Bon Soo has kept me hudled indoors under a blankie watching movies.

Plus Rob and I had company over the weekend. Rob's brother Dwayne and his girlfriend Jen came up to surprise their father Jim Slack on the occassion of his 60th birthday, which was on Sunday at the Elks Hall.

Jim is an Elk. A past Grand Poobah, actually. The real title is Exhalted Ruler but I can't bring myself to say those words with out bursting into uncontrollable fits of laughter. I prefer Grand Poobah, but he would kill me if he knew I called him that, so keep it under your hat. I like to keep him happy because (a) he is my father-in-law and (b) the Elks sponsor Buskerfest thanks to Jim Slack.

What does any of this have to do with Bon Soo?

Absolutally nothing.

However....

...Mr. Bon Soo was on hand briefly at the birthday celebration, shown here with the guest of honour. He was making an appearance at some sort of after-event-party that was taking place upstairs at the Elks and used the downstairs bar as a change room. It was a very strange site to see Mr. Bon Soo get felt up by a gang of men as the costume was assembled. Wish you could have been there.

So, Bon Soo, huh?

It has been years since I have taken in any Bon Soo events, I hate to say. About 14 years ago I was part of a Snomadness team. The Community Living Algoma Ice Breakers. That was the last time I did anything even remotely related to Bon Soo. Not sure why.

Could be I hate the cold. Could be that none of the entertainment appeals to me. Could just be laziness.

I plan to change this....after I borrow a snow suit from someone. I will go out and about to photograph some stuff and things.

Promise.

Pi in the Sky

2007-01-29T12:22:00.000-05:00

Daniel Tammet is a British man. A brilliant British man.

Possibly the highest functioning autistic savant ever known, Daniel (known in the UK as Brainman) can perform astonishing calculations in his head and says that numbers form visual landscapes full of colour and texture, making some more attractive than others.

289 is very ugly.

333 is quite beautiful.

But for Daniel, the most beautiful number is the universe is Pi....π....

On March 14, 2004, Daniel astounded the world when he recited Pi to 22 514 decimal places with no mistakes in 5 hours and 9 minutes. He had it memorized. He still remembers it. Most of us get to 3.14159 and say "blah blah blah".

"It literally took me a few weeks to learn the number, and that was backwards as well as forwards."

Daniel also speaks 9 languages...well, 10 actually, if you count Mӓnti, a language he has created and has been speaking since he was a child.

He was put to the test when researchers challenged him to learn Icelandic in 7 days. He did it. After one week, Daniel appeared on Icelandic television and was interviewed.

He is a truly fascinating individual.

Just because...

2007-01-26T15:48:00.000-05:00

I am posting the following pictures just because I like them. They may not be the best band pics, but for whatever reason, I happen to like them a lot.

Some are slightly out of focus. some are REALLY out of focus and some are happy accidents....little oopsies that I couldn't have achieved if I tried my darnedest to get 'em. Some of them you have seen before, some you haven't.

And I chatted with the House of Blues dude at the Hip show and he told me that as long as I don't put the Crue pics on t-shirts, mugs and stuff, I can do whatever the hell I want with them.

Fuckin' eh!

Ready for some Motley Crue?

...definitely an unplanned shot...the strobe light just happened to work in my favour...Mr. Nikki Sixx right at the beginning of the show...

...every photographer prays for a photo-op like this one...I nearly shit when he pointed at me...I blew him a kiss for it...he winked...my husband was proud of me for flirting with Nikki Sixx...

...Vince Neil...you can barely tell who it is but this shot really appeals to me...maybe it's the motion captured...I think it illustrates the energy of the show...

...two and a half members of Motley Crue...you can see a tiny bit of Mick Mars...how does Nikki get his hair to do that?...

And now for some Tragically Hip...

...a terrible shot but I LOVE it...not sure why...

...I think this one is my favourite out of all the Hip pics...the glare off my lens - sorry, Curt's lens - adds to the intensity of the moment...I need to use this one for a poster or something...

How Fitting

2007-01-22T22:35:00.000-05:00

So, what did Miss Donna do on the eve of her second-last day of work for Rentcash Inc?

She watched the movie "Office Space."

And it made her feel a whole hell of a lot better about her decision to quit and not really have much lined up to take its place.

What?!

Donna quit her job?

Yes she did. She quit because she was tired of the corporate bullshit and the lack of comformity and the shitty pay and the disappointment and the sheer evilness of the payday loan industry the horrible "must walk on eggshells" feeling that permiated every waking moment there and the fact that she felt like throwing up every morning before she went to work.

Oh yea. Let's not forget the really, really stinky clients. I mean, we would have to Febreeze the entire office after some of these people left. So stinky that you could taste the odour.

That's fucking stinky.

So, she is virtually jobless now...well, as of 6:00pm Tuesday January 23, 2007. She has a part-time gig lined up but it's gonna be pretty freakin' tight in the 'ol Slackhopper household for the next bit.

Job Fair, here she comes!

When it comes down to it, all you really need to be happy is a red Swingline stapler.

The History of a Camera, Part II

2007-01-02T19:13:00.000-05:00

Now that the craziness and sickness of the holiday season is behind me, I have found the time to publish the second installment of the History of My Camera. Here are the next 10 pics...

...the Sheriff from White Cowbell Oklahoma when they played at Foggy Notions...super fun show and I can't wait for their return...

...the Cousin Who Hath No Name, also from WCO @ Foggys...

...the singer of Paper Moon at their Downbeat gig...AWESOME band...

...a weird metal thingy behind the shed at Carrie's camp...having my camera set to a completely inappropriate exposure resulted in a neat photograph...

...I like lamps...and plants...

...another killer band, From Chimpan-A to Chimpan-Z as they rocked the DBL...

...from my first official band photo shoot...not the best of the bunch, but it was a really fun day...

...Bubba of WCO as they performed as Blue Velvet Kentucky at the DBL...

...another of my favourite Canadian indie bands, The Wheat Monkeys...terrible shot...

...a band who is currently making pretty big waves, the Tokyo Police Club...I have heard them played on Indie 103.1 out of L.A. and they recently got a couple of mentions in Rolling Stone...they're amazing...

...and now for a brighter note...

2006-12-25T13:56:00.000-05:00

Sorry for all my gloom and "poor me" crap.

Here is something fun. A snippet from my favourite Christmas cartoon, "A Wish For Wings That Work"..

Emjoy!

This Christmas blows goats

2006-12-25T12:03:00.000-05:00

Well, these have been my best friends for the last 3 days...

I have been sick on and off for about 2 months now, and naturally the worst of it has to hit at Christmas. I have no energy, one hell of a sore throat and chest, no voice at all, plenty of phlegm and a lot of hatred for viruses.

I missed all the fun stuff and it seriously bums me out; the Gates of Winter/IT/Startlefish show, Al Wood and Lindsay at Bottom's Up, the A&PHL, Dan Nystedt's house party, Shannon's birthday...this sucks...

I have barely been out of the house since work on Friday night.

...and James Brown died this morning...

Merry fucking Christmas.

Baby Jesus' Birthday and stuff...

2006-12-23T10:23:00.000-05:00

At this time of year, stress, bills and tension mounts. Just keep in mind that the holidays are a time for family, friends and giving.

For the men out there who have no idea what to give their little lady, may I offer this suggestion?

Ya know, I may not like the guy's music that much, but every day I gain more and more respect for Mr. Timberlake.

Anyhoo, just for shits and gigles, here is my very own Christmas movie quiz for y'all. Good luck!

1. What length of pole would the singer of "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch" not touch him with?

2. What was the last thing the Grinch took from Cindy-Loo Hoo's house?

3. What was the name of the Grinch's dog? (yea, this is an easy one...)

4. What roll did Charlie Brown fill in the school Christmas play in "A Charlie Brown Christmas"?

5. What song did Lucy insist Schroder play in "A Charlie Brown Christmmas"?

6. What did Snoopy win an award for in "A Charlie Brown Christmas" and what place was he?

7. How did Opus get his letter to Santa in "A Wish For Wings That Work"?

8. What support group did Opus belong to in "A Wish For Wings That Work"?

9. What was Jack Skellington's dog's name in "A Nightmare Before Christmas"?

10. What did Sally entice Oogie-Boogie with in order to draw his attention away from Santa in a "Nightmare Before Christmas"?

11. Who did Lock, Shock and Barrel first kidnap, thinking he was Santa Claus in "A Nightmare Before Christmas"?

12. Who played Robin Willimas' character's military-minded cousin in "Toys"?

13. What was Yukon Cornelius searching for in "Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer"?

14. Why was the Abominable Snowman so angry in "Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer"?

15. Why was Hermey the elf a misfit in "Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer"? (yea, another easy one...)

Have fun and by all means, have a wicked-ass Christmas!!

The History of a Camera, Part Uno-The Love of Bands

2006-12-14T01:51:00.000-05:00

So a while ago, Curt O'Neil started an interesting project on his blog and invited other photographers to take part...the history of their cameras in picture form. I decided it was cool, because I am after all the ultimate judge in coolness, and wanted to take part.

To read what he is getting at, click here. Too lazy to click there? Screw you, too bad. You miss out. I'm too lazy to explain it all and my laziness out-weighs your laziness on my blog.

Here are the first of the pics....

Milhouse. My best little guy and in love with the camera.

The Downbeat Lounge. My favourite watering hole and the inspiration for my band photography. Rest in peace.

Tracey Hilderly, the rockinest chick in the Sault, drumming with the Malcontents at the DBL. Note the Motley Crue t-shirt and the cowboy hat......nice!

Dustin Jones of the Inner Cuty Surfers. He rocks, he loves, he leaves. That's just what he does. The Surfers made me fall into a deep and insatiable addiction to live band photography.

Mikey Hawdon of the Inner Cuty Sufers. See the comments above. The same goes for him too.

Al Wood, Lindsay Pugh and Frank Deresti jamming at Loplops with some chicks whose name I don't remember. Not a great pic, by any stretch.

My lovely husband doing what he does best.

Trevor Heartless and Dan Nystedt posing with Rae Spoon, a Downbeat favourite and part of the bar's family.

I've always liked lamps.

Trevor Heartless during a late night, very drunk jam in the basement of the DBL.

There you have my first insallment of the history of my camera, which was purchased in March of 2006. I have taken over 12 000 pictures with it. I never plan to stop.

Ever.

Me 'n Motley Crue

2006-12-07T02:10:00.000-05:00

Yes.

Finally a new post.

I know what you're thinking.

I don't love you any more.

I couldn't be bothered with the twos an twos of people that actually read my blog.

Now that I write for SooToday.com, I'm 'too good' to blog.

Well, my friends, none of these are true.

The fact of the matter is, I'm really fucking busy most of the time. And the times I have to myself, I spend sleeping or ... well, sleeping.

I also engage in the occasional adult beverage now and again, but since my injury I have cut that down quite a bit. My bank account thanks me.

So, as the title of this post indicates, I have recently had some dealings with the good old Motley Mother Fucking Crue. That's right, I had the honour of covering the show for SooToday.com, which meant I could take pictures (in a VERY limited capacity) at the show.

I was scared as shit.

I have never shot an arena show before.

I had no idea what to expect.

It was weird.

I showed up according to pre-arranged agreements with arena staff and it all turned out to be wrong.

I was pissed.

I then followed my nose as the toucan taught me and was able to at least get inside the doors. This made me a bit less pissed off.

I had borrowed lenses from all over the place and it turns out the one lens I should have grabbed was the one I did not.

FUCK!

You see, the media were only allowed to take pictures at the very front of the stage for the VERY FIRST SONG. During said first song ( and it turns out, for most of the show really) it was all smoke and strobe lights. These are not good for photographers. At least inexperienced ones like me.

I did get a fucking kick ass shot of Nikki Sixx pointing right at me, however. You'll have to wait to see it in a photo gallery on SooToday as I was forced to sign a waiver that stated I would not reproduce, sell or display the photos for any purpose other than SooToday.

Bummer.

Anyway, after the first song, we were ushered to the penalty box at the Steelback Centre, which is not REALLY far back, but far enough back that I was unhappy with the zoom I had borrowed. We were there for two songs and two songs exactly. No more, no less. The dude from House of Blues was very serious about his job and got us out of there right quick.

Then in order to get back into the show, I had to put my camera in the box office......or put it in my car. And since (a) most of the equipment I had was not mine and (b) my car was about 4 blocks away and it was freakin' cold out, I decided to lock it up in the box office.

After that, I found my friends in section 117 and proceeded to totally rock out with my cock out.....if I indeed had a cock it would have rocked the most, baby!

I had a fucking killer time at the show. But, unfortunately due to many circumstances, I am not overly happy with the pics. DAMN! I wish I could show them to you!

The fog, the back-lighting, my inexperience, the fact that Tommy Lee's drum riser was so high combined with him sitting so low behind them and that I opted to NOT borrow CO's lovely 200mm zoom lens result in me having a lot of regrets about this show....as a photographer.

As a rocker from way back, I tickled about the show.

I did not get one good shot of Tommy Lee and that seriously bums me out!!

But hey, it was my first big show and I have definetley learned from the experience. Next time I will know better.

Now all I want to do is get drunk and have sex with Tommy Lee...or maybe be Nkki Sixx. I haven't decided yet. They're both sexy as all get out.

Shit-Fuck-Damn.

I did get to leave with a very unique piece of memorabilia...

...my press pass...

...cool, huh?...

By all means, call me an idiot...

2006-10-30T16:34:00.000-05:00

So you may or may not know this past past weekend was my birthday...October 29th to be exact. I had lots of plans and fun stuff and things in mind.

Well, Friday night happened and things went to hell in a hand basket.

It all started with a fantastic show at the Best Western as I went to cover Prairie Oyster for SooToday.com. Loved the show and got lots of great pictures of them. Lindsay Pugh and Jay Case were there. This made me very happy and we hung out and had a good time.

Then it was off to the Outback to see a killer band from Alberta, the Wheat Monkeys. I have seen them a few times before and was really looking foward to them. Unfortunately the lighting was really fucked up there so pictures were not going well. All of the stage lights were focused below the waist of all the band memebers so the only things that showed up were their legs and part of their guitars....no torsos or heads. It pissed me off a little.

Anyway, after a little chit chat with the band, Jay, Linds and I caught a cab down town for a few more frosty adult beverages. I wasn't drunk at this point but had a bit of a buzz on...thought it best not to drive.

Everything went down hill after that.

After drinking way too much, Jay and I shared a cab home. I had the cab driver drop me off on Wellington Street across from my house.

Bad move.

As I ran across the street, I tripped over the curb and took one hell of a nasty spill as I starfished flat on my face on the sidewalk.

The following are gruesome pictures of the resulting injuries....

....are you ready?

...this is the nasty road rash I got on my wrist trying to save my camera as I went down...

...this is the gash on my right knee...it hurts like a fucking bitch...

My left knee is also bruised and a bit swollen and my right elbow is stiff and sore. My ego is also bleeding profusely.

Yup, nothing like some disgusting oozing extremely painful injuries to make someone feel old on their birthday. Thankfully I have my own personal man-nurse....Steve Olsen.

And my camera? Well, it is damaged a bit but still works. The lens has to be replaced shortly, however.

Please, by all means, feel free to call me an idiot. I have numerous times.

Men, the fate of our planet, as well as your pecker, is in your hands...

2006-10-01T16:08:00.000-04:00

Please, won't somebody think of the children while in the using the facilities!

It's amazing just how inportant the little things in life really are.

The Day I Killed Lars: The Tale of the Weekend That Could Not Be Resuscitated: Friday

2006-09-06T00:23:00.000-04:00

There could have been so many different titles for this post, such as;

WOW, The Townehouse Really Smells Bad!

Do Gummie Worms Poo Cookies?

How My Life Long Dream of Visiting Port Severn Was Fulfilled

Dan, Are You Sure The Gas Station is Just Around The Corner?

I Have Never Been This Wet Without Being in The Shower or Swimming

Air mattresses Suck Ass and Can Rot in Hell!

I Stood in The Rain For Four and a Half Hours...FUCK IT!! I'm Buying a T-shirt...

Those Creepy Houses on The Side of The Highway By Blind River Truly ARE Creepy

I used the Lars one because it was the first one I thought of. What a fucking weekend. Where do I start?

As you know, Dan and I went to Toronto to see Rancid and Ben Harper. This little adventure has been in the works for about two months. I have been excited for this weekend since I ordered the tickets from Ticket Master. The night before we were to leave, I could not sleep. I decided to log on to MySpace and just look around. My heart sank as I read this bulletin posted by Alex of "The Ripcordz"...(remember, he is very French and his English is not the greatest...these are not spelling mistakes on my part...)

Just coming back from the Rancid show, they had to stop after 6 songs, Lars collapsed on the stage...It was really weird, he went straight to the hospital, i heard something to do with medication he had to take for allergies... Aniway after a while Tim annonced that they will come back to do another one for everibody who had ticket for that night...
The beginning if the show was great aniway though they all seems a bit tired...

@lex

I immediately called Dan. No answer. I then called the Downbeat. No answer. SHITFUCKDAMN!!!

A soon as Dan got to my house in the morning I told him about what I had heard. He called his friend Steve in Toronto who was going to the show with us. Steve said he would look into the situation and call us to let was know what was going on. We hit the road around 8:30 with plenty of coffee and cigarettes and a tight grip on our dreams that Rancid will not cancel.

...at this point, we are still happy at the rest stop where we ate bananas and used the bathroom...

...about ten minutes past the rest stop and about five minutes from Sudbury, we got the call from Steve telling us not to hurry...both Rancid shows in Toronto were cancelled...this is an unhappy Dan on the phone with Steve as we lunched at the Laughing Buddha...we also made a pit stop at the Townehouse...what a stinky dive...wow...

Seriously bummed out, we left Sudbury following our lovely lunch and continued to Toronto. Had it not been for our Saturday evening Ben Harper tickets, we would have just turned around and gone home. We still have Ben Harper to look forward to, right? We were happy about that. I was now driving.

"It's all my fault, Dan. I was bragging all day at work that I was going to see Rancid. I did it."

"I'm pretty sure your bragging did not give Lars Fredriksen a degenerative bone disease, Donna. It's not your fault." Dan laughed.

Dan fell asleep. We were low on gas but had plenty to get us to Parry Sound. No problem. I'll just stop there. Dan awoke just past Noble and we chatted. As I was about to turn into Parry Sound, Dan told me not to, that there was a gas station just around the corner on the side of the highway we can stop at.

"Are you sure Dan? That's not sounding familiar to me."

"Positive." he said.

We drove on.....and on......and on.....and on....no gas station. Crap. The situation is desperate. I start laughing as I come to terms with that fact that we will, very shortly, run out of gas. My first time ever.

And just as I turned off the highway to go into Port Severn (never been there), it happens.

...and there we are just seconds from port severn on the side of the road, gasless...Dan had a good walk, though...

...and there I was on the side of the road trying to keep myself amused as hundreds of people just drove by without one ounce of concern for my well being...jerks...

...Dan was only gone for about 20 minutes...a nice contractor guy with plenty of empty Coors light cans in his truck, and one in his hand, gave Dan a ride back...

On the road once more. Dan is driving again. We talk and joke and listen to really really loud music. Dan is upset that I have never seen the movie "Garden State". We get to Toronto about 8:00 without further incident.

At Grant's house (Dan's friend we are crashing with) we are met by Marty...

...this is Marty...say 'hi' Marty...he is a friendly, playful, cute and VERY large what I believe to be a Lab/St. Bernard mix...I like him a lot...

With no Rancid show, Dan and I wondered downtown to see what else was up. Turns out not a whole lot. We paid a quick visit to "Suspect Video" where their answer to everything I asked for was "No, but we can order it for you." Yeah, ya know what? I can order it too, dumb-ass. I did find a copy of "Another State of mind" for Rob cheaper than the Social Distortion website. This made me happy.

We continued to wonder. We ended up at the Horseshoe drinking free shots of Jack Daniels on the patio...some sort of promotional thing for "Deadwood" which is premiering on the History Channel soon...or already has...I don't know. I wasn't really paying attention. The band playing next door was fun and I met a very cute puppy named Benny...

...this is me and Benny...say 'hi' Benny...

...this is Dan and I on the Horseshoe patio enjoying the freaks and text messages from Shannon and booze and weird Toronto night air...

Naturally we were hungry, so naturally we went to Amato's on the way home to indulge in some of the best pizza on the planet...two slices for each of which is actually enough to feed four people. What the hell. A bit more wondering...

...this is Dan poking fun at his singlehoodness...yes, that is a wedding dress...

...this is Dan trying to look deep and serious in front of one of those annoying poster plastered walls...

We get back to Grant's and he immediately puts in "Garden State" which I loved and decided I must own. Grant and Mel arrive home after their friend's wedding and we are finally introduced. We smoke and chat and watch the rest of the movie. They inflate my bed for me and we say our good nights...

About three hours after the lights went out, I awoke ever so uncomfortable. My hip and shoulder are KILLING me. The air mattress has deflated. I spent the rest of my sleepless night getting up every couple of hours to blow up my bed...

...that was Friday...

Some Ups and Downs

2006-08-31T10:43:00.000-04:00

AN UP - Buskerfest is over and done with for another year and it was a huge success. Thank you to all the sponsors, volunteers, spectators and performers that made this year amazing.

A DOWN - The son of a long-time friend of Rob's died recently. Very sad and tragic...he was only 24 years old.

AN UP - We got to visit with a long-time friend of Rob's who we haven't seen since our wedding back in 2000. Just wish it was under happier circumstances.

A DOWN - Rob's Grandmother passed a way at the age of 89 on Monday night. Rob is currently in Brockville for the funeral. Thank you to Jay and Carrie for the truck loan. You guys rock! By the way, if anyone is thinking of flying to Brockville for any reason, DON"T. A return flight from the Sault is over $1700.00, if you can even believe that!!

AN UP - Danner and I will be leaving bright and early tomorrow morning for the Big Smoke to see Rancid on September 1 at the Kool Haus and then Ben Harper on September 2 at the Molson Amphitheatre. Very exciting!

A DOWN - Rancid never even read the multiple messages I sent them through MySpace requesting permission to photograph their show in Toronto. I'm sad.

AN UP - I will be seeing Tim Armstrong in the flesh....fuckin' eh....

A DOWN - I am trying to not spend money in order to accommodate the up coming instalation of new windows in my house, so no merch purchases for me at the aforementioned concerts. It is going to take every fibre of will in me to not buy merch...I'm a sucker for the stuff.

AN UP - I'm getting new windows soon and the sun is shining.

A DOWN - My dogs will suffer serious separation anxiety while we are gone. Thankfully, Shauna has aggreed to stay with them over night. Thanks baby!

AN UP - I went to the second Beer Tasting at Loplops lastnight with Patti and George and it was a religious experience. One of the beers was the Mill St. Coffee Porter. Are you even fucking kidding me with that?! It combines two of my most favouritest things in the world and was utterly devine......must....get....more....NOW!!

A DOWN - There are no signs that Social Distortion will be on tour anywhere in the area any time soon. Dammit! I need another dose of that Mr. Ness....

AN UP - Due to Rob's recent record review on his blog, Les Becker has become a fan of Social D. Gooble-gobble, gooble-gobble, one of us, one of us....

Blogelation...Julio's Buskerfest Rerun Dance...

2006-08-15T20:31:00.000-04:00

This took me forever to do and the quality of the photos is not the greatest because I had to compress the video in order to upload it into YouTube, but here it is anyway. Not bad for my first attempt at using iMovie, I think...

...oh yea...turn your volume up...waaaaay up...

Please let me know what you think...

Blogelation..."Ready to upload 849 photos?"...

2006-08-14T17:27:00.000-04:00

This what iPhoto said to me this morning when I plugged in my memory card. It was at that point I decided I should burn some of the 4782 pictures I have stored on my computer onto discs in order to make room for the new batch. I suppose it would be smart for me to back them up anyway...this is gonna take me a while. *sigh*

849 PHOTOS!! What the hell?! Will someone please tell me to stop taking pictures?....II just can't help myself. I think I need to go to rehab or something.

So all in all, I think Buskerfest went fairly well. No major injuries. No kids passed out from heat stroke. Only a couple of disputes among the performers, although they were a cause of enormous stress for me and gave me pimples. And only one small child got accidentally lit on fire.

This year's group of performers was a blast to hang with...and they could all pound back the booze like sailors on leave, especially our two french ladies...WOW!! And every single one of them had great things to say about Sault Ste. Marie.

Jeff Krahn, AKA Scot Free, said his Saturday evening show was one of his favourites ever and he has been doing this for 15 years. The Coralies kept teling how friendly everyone was and said although it was a small festival, it was one of their favourites. Jeff Hill said he fell in love with Sault Ste. Marie and the people here the first time he performed here in 2004. He really wants to come back next year. The USA Break Dancers loved the food...and the ladies...and the Hennessy. During our final dinner at Gran Festa Sunday evening, everything was quiet as we enjoyed our meals, and out of the blue in a loud, deep voice Julio exclaimed, "FUCK IT!! Screw Toronto and lets stay here for another weekend. The food here is too fuckin' good!"

Making the performers happy and welcome iis one of the prime objectives of the Buskerfest Committee, so these little things mean a lot to me. We want the word to spread in the busker world that the Sault is the place to be. We may be smaller but we're better.

Alright...enough chit chat. On to the momment you've been waiting for. Pictures.

...the Pirate...thanks again, Mark...

The USA Break Dancers...

Ivan Bellari, the fire guy...
...he lights himself on fire...cool...

...the flaming comb over...funny...

...some amazing fire breathing...

The Coralies...

Jeff Hill...I still can't watch the razorblade trick...*shudder*

...Scot Free...

Trulee Odd...

The Buskerfest Cabaret at Loplops Lounge...that was funny and freaky shit!...
...that's me on fire!...

...that's Jessica on fire!...

...that's a funny shot of Curt in my way...nice goin', dude...

...that's Scot Free as "Fesso the Clown" in a bra...

...that's Trule Odd in the thong we bought at the sex shop...

...that's a bunch of bloggers looking at Trulee Odd in the thong...

...that's a couple of white dudes layin' down some phat beats for the break dancers...

That's all for now folks. Remember the whole 849 picture thing? Yea...it's gonna take me a while to sort them all, but I wanted to share a few of my favourites with y'all. Check back soon for more...and more....and even more...

CHEERS!!

Blogelation...the Cabaret in a Nut Shell

2006-08-13T01:58:00.000-04:00

Buskerfest Cabaret...Loplops Lounge...I got lit on fire and Scot Free took a picture of Mark Hohmann's junk...'nuff said.

Blogelation...Busker Sex Shop Run

2006-08-12T18:52:00.000-04:00

Ever gone to a sex shop with a Busker?...no?...well I have and it was weird. Apparently Trulee Odd needed to get a thong for this eve's Cabaret Show. What kind of thong did he get and will it actually stay on? Attend the more adult themed Buskerfest Cabaret happening tonight at Loplops Lounge to find the answers to these pressing questions. Start time about 11:00pm. Ticket price; $10.00.

Keep your eyes peeled for the Buskerfest Photo show coming soon to Salckhopper's Stuff and Things...

Blogelation...Buskerfest Day One Done

2006-08-12T02:21:00.000-04:00

Buskerfest's first day is now said and done with and I am tired as fuck...you heard me.

All the acts were amazing...at least on the stage. We seem to have hired ourselves a couple of prima donnas this year who shall remain nameless...UNLESS they cause me to melt down again...then, boys, I'm sorry but the magic gloves will come off and you'll cry like little girls.

Yes, the rest of the committee has told me I do not have to be there for the beginning on Saturday in order to give me a break. In all honesty, I more than likely will be there for the beginning anyway because I want to catch the acts and take more pictures.

So now on to the performances...

I caught all of the USA Break Dancers and they blew me away. In fact, I have a funny story about them witch made me very excited. Less than a week ago I saw a documentary called "Style Wars" at Shannon and Maria's place...a documentary about the whole graffiti/break dancing movement in New York City in the early 80's. In said documentary there was an AMAZING break dancer named "Crazy legs" who revolutionized and ushered in the break dancing style we see today. Turns out two of our own USA Break Dancers, Cuba and Will...aaahhh, Will...all I will say is "YUMMM"...anyway, their very first break dancing instructor was none other than, you guessed it, Crazy Legs. I found that really freakin' cool...and impressive...and just down right neat-o.

I also had the pleasure of viewing all of Ivan Bellari's show. He is one of only seven people in the world who does what he does...fire breathing. It was a more than impressive spectacle of flame and...well...more flame. Visually stunning. He weighs 400 pounds and eats fire and can be kinda scarey...but he's really a big pussy cat. Don't be scared, kids.

I only caught snippets of jeff Hill, the Coralies, Trulee Odd and Scot Free. From what I saw, they are all top notch entertaineers...very funny and very talented...and I plan on seeing and photographing all their performances tomorrow.

Right now I need to sleep...and find more volunteers to cover tomorrow night. Wanna help? Call me. So tired.

Did you know when you do spell check in blogger and it comes across the word "freakin'", it thinks the most suitable replacement word is "foreskin"?...and now I giggle...

Blogelation...and it begins...

2006-08-11T17:56:00.000-04:00

So after some insanity this morning and only about two melt downs on my part, Steve saved me with the ever-reviving 12 CCs of suds and Buskerfest is officially under way.

The time is currently 5:56 in the pm and there is a good crowd of all ages gazing in delight and wonder at the oddities in the pitch. Two acts have performed; Trulee Odd and Jeff Hill, both of which wowed our fair city. The USA Break Dancers are up next and I am STOKED!!

...will write more soon...

yay buskerfest!

Buskerfest Blogelation: Prologue

2006-08-11T02:26:00.000-04:00

The Buskers have arrived. We have consumed adult frosty beverages...and make shift tex mex food. The pitch has been surveyed. The piper is booked. My head has not yet exploded.

The event is set to kick off tomorrow at 3:30 in the pm and all seems to be going according to the grand scheme...that scheme being that no one who is not supposed to gets lit on fire, the public is entertained and I don't murder someone in the mean time....

...oh yea...and that my husband doesn't leave me 'cuz I have been ignoring him for the past 6 months...that's a biggie...

This is the third year for this oh so unique Sault festival and it keeps getting bigger and bigger every year. Six acts, three days and more entertainment than you can shake a devil stick at. What more do you want? Here are the official festival times;

Friday August 11 - 3:30 to 10:30
Saturday August 12 - 11:30 to 10:30 with the more adult Cabaret happening at Loplops at around 11:30
Sunday August 13 - 10:30 to 6:30

Be there or I will be forced to send Ivan after you and he eats small children and lights himself on fire for amusement...'nuff said.

I Have Seen The Light...But In A Completely "God May or May Not Exist" Sort of Way...

2006-08-09T12:52:00.001-04:00

Ummm...yea....I just saw one of the best bands I think to ever come through the Sault. They blew me and everyone else in attendance at Loplops away. They are the Agnostic Mountain Gospel Choir.

Not only do they have a really cool name, their sound is...well...I picture it this way; Muddy Waters, Tom Waits and Hank III went on a week long bender and at the end of said bender they puked up the Agnostic Mountain Gospel Choir.

...yea, that works...

I bought a disc and plan on playing for anyone who will listen. I plan on playing it so much, it'll have to be replaced next week. I plan on driving everyone I know crazy with it until they love the music as much as I do. I plan on figuring out how to post a song on this here blog to spread the word and share the music...it must be done.

...stupid audioblog...

2006-07-26T22:55:00.000-04:00

So...

I tried the Audioblog thing and it doesn't seem to like me much. I recorded it two days ago as a test and it failed....not only does it not play, but it took two freakin' days to even show up as a post. I will investigate further and try again...maybe. It's a long distance # you have to dial in order to do it so maybe that is where the problem lies.

I just thought it would be cool for me to post audioblogs on location when seeing a cool band and stuff.

....hmmmm....that's a noodle scratcher indeed....

2006-07-26T12:53:00.000-04:00

Clerks and Goth and Puppies and the Simple Things That Make One Giggle

2006-07-25T18:51:00.000-04:00

Kevin Smith does it again. Clerks II will not disappoint any fan of he original. It is brilliant. So mush so, that I am going for a second look this evening. There are two aspects of this movie that, for me, make it worth multiple viewings; 1. The actor that plays Elias is fanfreakintastic...hope to see him in many more flicks, and 2. the Jason Mewes homage to "Silence of the Lambs"...and not the one that has appeared in trailers...the OTHER one...those of you who have seen the movie know what I am talking about, but I will not spoil it for those of you who have not. Trust me...it's funny...

I give it two "even cowgirls get the blues" sized thumbs up....

So after taking a look at the above album cover, you may think the band is some sort of crazy metal goth thing....right? Wrong. Although this is one of the worst album covers I have ever owned (if the band ever reads this, I am sorry, but it truly is the cheeziest album cover I have ever seen...love the music though), the band completely kicks ass. They are Bluessmyth and they played last Friday night at Loplops Lounge. They are not Goth nor are they Metal...they are a blues trio from Calgary with a lead singer/guitar player who is model hot...I mean REALLY hot. They are a cross between the Allman Brothers and Hendrix and I really liked them and he was hot...did I mention the singer was hot? Check 'em out. I bought both CD's 'cause they were hot...I mean really good...

....and hot....

Since Craig has not posted any pics of his new family members, I will. World, meet Nietzsche and Bear (AKA Malcom as I had originally named him), puppies meet world. I never thought I would describe something of Mr. West's as cute but for the love of God these little guys are down right adorable!...

...almost as cute as my little guy, Milhouse...but a lot less crazy. Ah, the life with a Jack Russell Terrier. Never boring and he eliminates the need for a doorbell.

And now for things that made me giggle recently...

I went to the grocery store yesterday to buy my favourite bread, only available at Rome's, and the muzak was priceless. As I entered the store, the lovely melody of "Rain Drops Keep Falling on My Head" greeted me....and I laughed....and got side ways looks from those around me. Whatever, that shit is funny in my world. One of the corniest songs ever recorded made cornier....I love it! And not for the "Butch Cassidy" connection, but for the "Clerks II homage to Butch Cassidy" connection...

....see how it has come full circle?...I like circles...

...and then my memory card caught fire...

2006-07-16T15:05:00.000-04:00

Ok, so it didn't really catch fire, but I did shoot about 800 photos over the last week. There was a lot of stuff and things happeneing 'bout town. Here are a few highlights...

...this is myself with Shauna and John...I met John at the Downbeat lounge...he is from the UK and is spending 5 weeks touring Canada...I gave him a 4 hour tour of the area; Kinsmen Park, Mockingbird Farm, Gros Cap, cottage country, the shitty and the ritzy neighbourhoods, the canal...it were fun, eh...

"I'm a chicken hawk and yer a chicken. Now are ya gonna come quietly or do I hafta muss ya up?!"...God I love Foghorn Leghorn...

"Sure, Lisa....one magical animal..." God I love the Simpsons....

...cheezy shot, I know, but I thought it was cool none the less...

Second Satge, of course, ate up a huge chunk of my time this weekend. I did not mind, however, as it was a stellar opportunity to shoot local talent. I loved every second of it and am extremely pleased with the outcome. Rather than write about the event, I'll show you how damn cool it was....

...there are far too many pics to post here...for more shots of Second Stage, please visit my photo blog...thank you...

I also got to meet some fellow bloggers I had been reading for quite some time...

...I wonder who this could be?...Canadian Mark?...the Pirate?...or Hohmann maybe?...this man has many names, but I just call him the Boardwalk Piper...nice to finally meet you, Mark...I tried to sneak up on him to snap some shots, but he spotted me through his third eye which is apparently in the back of his head...also met Les Becker but the heat stroke affected me so much that I forgot to snap a shot of her...BAD BLOGGER!!...

...and I met some blogger pets...

...Domino...which is longer?...his tongue or his ears?...how was the dog drool bath, Rob?...

...and Fozzy...ready to go home, I guess...

And finally something I never thought I would see in the Sault...well at least not until Buskerfest anyway...

...yes, my friends...that is a break dancer at the Downbeat Lounge...it was very cool...again, visit my photo blog for more pics of this young fella doin' his thang...what are you waiting for?

Don't Make Me Get the Lemmings Out....

2006-07-12T05:55:00.000-04:00

...if you do not attend, I will be forced to drop rabid lemmings down your pants...don't make me do it, 'cuz I will...

"Celebrate the birth of your Nation by blowing a small part of it up"

2006-07-02T15:23:00.000-04:00

Happy Canada day!! John Doucette has the right idea...and possibly the biggest Canada flag in town. Good job Mr. Doucette.

I had a weekend chock full 'o fun and hi-jinx with only one small injury sustained when Dustin Jones beaned me in the foot with a drumstick...it hurt like a bastard and I have an impressive bruise to prove it. I think I shot about 500 pictures in all and I am now VERY busy going through and editing them.

After about a year of begging, I finally got my picture taken laying on the hood of Bella...Robbie Adamson's totally sweet '61 Chevy Belair...this made me very happy although I am slightly concerned I may have dented her hood a bit...

Tonight is Jon Rae and the River at the downbeat Lounge. Rob and I will be in attendance with bells on to round out our crazy musical Canada Day weekend. I suggest everyone else do the same...

Elliott Brood is a 'They', not a 'Him'...

2006-06-17T19:26:00.000-04:00

So there I am watching game 5 of the Edmonton/Carolina Stanley Cup finals and the game is tied at 3 a piece...it's going into overtime. I am suddenly torn...stay to see an amazing short handed goal by Edmonton (the team I am cheering for, obviously) in overtime on Carolina ice, or go to the Downbeat to see Elliott Brood. I decide it is more important to not miss one note of Elliott Brood. I grab my camera and head out the door despite the sighs and rolling eyes of disgust from my fellow hockey fans.

At the bar, the first thing the band (who have not yet hit the stage) asked me was the score of the game. I guess they would have understood had I missed their first song or two in the name of overtime. The call came in to me not moments later that Edmonton had won. I relayed the good news loud enough for everyone in the bar to hear and we all cheered. It set the perfect tone to enjoy an evening with one of the best Canadian indie bands around.

Elliott Brood is a 'they', not a 'him'....there is a Casey Laforet, a Mark Sasso and a Stephen Pitkin but no Elliott Brood. As Mark explained in a 2005 interview with EYE, the name comes from the movie The Natural..."Well, sort of. There's a dark character I thought was named Harriet Brood. I imagined that if she had a brother, his name would be Elliott Brood, and that it was a good name for a band. Except her name was actually Harriet Bird."

The bands 2005 first full length release Ambassador was nominated for the Roots and Traditional Album of the Year award at the 2006 Junos, losing to Corb Lund's Hair In My Eyes Like A Highland Steer. ( It is interesting to note that Corb Lund's tall, handsome mug has also graced the tiny stage at the Downbeat Lounge...and Corb Lund is a 'him', not a 'they'...)

Elliott Brood's music can be described as alt-country acoustic folk-rock. They call it death country, which is fitting since Ambassador was recorded in an old slaughter house, now Monumental Sound near Kelle and St. Claire in Toronto. I just call their music great.

The bands Wednesday June 14th show was their second highly anticipated appearance at the Downbeat Lounge. There was a banjo-playing man in black, a drummer who used a suitcase as a kick drum and a guitar player who also played bass with his foot as he danced better sitting down than most people do standing up. After the show, I described them to a friend as the new Neil Young...breaking ground and expanding the spectrum of Canadian roots music.

Their intense gritty songs energized the packed house, creating one of my most memorable band experiences. Although disappointed I missed Edmonton's spectacular win, I am elated I was fortunate enough to have experienced this truly inspired Canadian band for a second time. Had you been there, you would understand.

...casey laforet...

...stephen pitkin...

...mark sasso...

The First Time

2006-06-11T12:45:00.000-04:00

I have been photographing so many live bands the past few weeks, I hate to say that I'm starting to get them all mixed up. I do know one thing...they all kicked ass and can't wait for them to come through the Sault again.

However, one band in particular sticks out in my mind because they granted me an amazing honour...they asked me to do photo shoot for them....my first real official band photo shoot!

From Chimpan-A to Chimpan-Z played the Downbeat Lounge to a small but appreciative crowd Sunday June 4, 2006. I loved their stuff and found them a blast to photograph live. After the show, we got to chatting. They were in no hurry to take off in the morning and decided to stay in the Sault to hang for the day. They asked me to do a shoot. I said yes and got nervous...never done this before...what will they expect of me?...where should I take them?...what if the pictures suck?

I decided to take them to the train yard. I told them it would be cool...there's never any activity there during the day and we could climb trains and sneak around...it would be fun. Stupid Murphy and his pain in the ass law foiled that plan. As we drove into the yard, we could hardly see the trains from the dust being kicked up by all the activity and stuff and things going on. Crap.

Plan B...the waterfront...corny, I know, but there are some interesting spots there so off we went. It was insanely sunny and hot that day so lighting proved to be a bit of an issue, but I managed to work with it. Here are a few of my favourite shots......

The day was a hoot but we finally had to stop because we were all sweating our balls off and my battery was dead...poor planning on my part. Afterwards we headed off to Lone Star for a nibble then to Casa Case for an enjoyable evening of VEX drinkin', poker playin' and hockey watchin'...good times, good times. Jay and Carrie let the band crash there for the night and I thank the two of you on behalf of the band once again for your hospitality.

I welcome all comments and suggestions regarding the pictures. Please let me know what you think.

BONUS QUESTION: Anyone who can tell me where their name comes from gets a free butt grab from yours truly. Jay, Carrie, Dan, Trevor, Amanda, Krista and Rob...you guys are excluded from the contest because I know you already know...I'll probably end up grabbing all your butts at some point anyway...

YEEE-FREAKIN'-HAW!!!

2006-05-28T00:33:00.000-04:00

Lets Go Oilers, Lets Go!!!!

I Got Licked by the 'Bell

2006-05-22T21:25:00.000-04:00

They came, they drank, they played...boy did they play...and I of course was there right in the thick of it, camera in hand...and there was more cowbell than Mr. Walkin would know what to do with...

White Cowbell Oklahoma tore Foggy Notions a new one lastnight. It looked a bit grim when we arrived at the bar...just us and the band sitting around watching Edmonton clean the Ducks clock. I was concerned that it would be yet another disappointing turn out....it was Sunday night after all...and this is the Sault...

By midnight, the bar was pretty full and the Sheriff emerged from the fog to taunt us, riffle aimed skyward and bull whip at his side. The music started and I did not stop shooting....173 pics later and here I am to share a few with you....

...the sheriff and his bell...

...keeping all the stage names straight proved too difficult for me in my drunken state, but i think there's a bubba and a cousin with no name in this photo somewhere...

...grinder meets bell with spectacular results...

...hollis is fun...

...clem liked carrie's underware...'nuff said...

...chainsaw charlie/the sheriff and clem thought i was tasty...

The show was way too fun although I expressed my disappointment at the lack of chainsaw and cock rag action to the band. They offered to give me a private cock rag demonstration if I accompanied them back to their hotel, to which I replied, "I'm pretty sure my husband may have an issue or two with that." So, alas, no cock rags for me...

Me 'n Mike

2006-05-06T05:18:00.000-04:00

So...here it is ...fianlly...the picture of Mike Ness and Myself after the Toronto show, October 2006...

...right after the picture was shot, I turned to Mr. Ness and asked, "You made the tough guy face, didn't you?" to which he replied, "Of course." Good God, he is one coooool mother fucker...I love him...and Rob's cool with that....really...in fact, I'm pretty sure Rob has a man-crush on Mr. Ness...

...and here is me and Danny McGough...as he signed my set list on the windshield of a smart car...

...he's the keyboard player and back up singer (of many) for Soacial Distortion...I met the rest of the band as well, but no one was around to take a snap shot...bummer...

...there's always next time..and there WILL be a next time...trust me...

Does This Blog Make Me Look Fat?

2006-05-03T07:53:00.000-04:00

Following my usual late evening routine, I fell asleep the other night on my couch in front of the TV. Stirring a couple of hours later, I was rudely and abruptly forced into reality by an obnoxious infomercial about the latest weight loss/exercise DVD...a new fad much like the forgotten Plates, Tai Bo and Jazzersise.

Much too tired to actually get up and go to bed, I watched through the fog as people professed the miracle that is "Turbo Jam". Apparently you can burn up to 1000 calories an hour with this program "and lose up to 10 lbs and 10 inches a week in as little as 20 minutes a day!" Wow. "For only 3 equal payments of $19.95, you can have the body you've always wanted." Sure.

I watched a while longer, the before and after pictures of the program's success stories...the horrible, obese, disgusting before pictures and the beautiful, trim and fit after pictures. Jenny lost 65lbs and 10 inches from her waste. She went from a size 12 to a size 3.

Say that again? That horrid looking woman in the before picture was a size 12? BULLSHIT. I'm a size 12!

Now I was fully awake and fully pissed off. Size 12 is not fat, nor is being a size 12 cause for concern. Marilyn Monroe peaked at a size 16 in the 1950's. Due to changes in sizing standards over the years, that would be about a size 12 today...keep in mind, she was only 5' 5" tall...

Anyone trying to tell me being a size 12 warrants a strict (and expensive) exercise program to shed unwanted pounds can suck my ass.

'Nuff said.

GO NOW!!!

2006-04-21T11:25:00.000-04:00

Those of who know me know I have a new found passion for bombing, graffiti, tags, spray paint and everything related to it. You need to check out "Flinging Pooh" AKA Rob Slack's blog. Go there now and check out the links. Do it NOW!!! This guy is my new hero. The time, effort, planning and risk that must have gone into what this guy pulled off is wild....

WTF?!

2006-04-15T03:40:00.000-04:00

I came across this site as I was looking around the Social Distortion fan site (someone posted it in protest), and it made me so angry I was rendered totally and utterly speechless...

I may be able to actually write something about it when I calm down a bit, but until then I'm just gonna sit here and fume and curse and ask "What the fuck is wrong with people?!" and fear for the fate of our race.

Hi...Remember me?...

2006-04-13T13:53:00.000-04:00

OK...I have emerged from my Mac induced stupor to finally update...sorry for my lack of stuff and things.

Actually, I can't blame it solely on the new computer. There is also the new camera, a sick pooch, the fact that I have been on holidays and have left my car at the Downbeat more nights than I would care to admit, trying to somewhat organize my house and Buskerfest stuff. In fact, I think I have been busier on holidays than I would be had I been working...odd...

...oh yea...and I am slowly morphing into a geek. Yep, I now have a MySpace. So that makes 3 blogs, a MySpace and a Flickr photo account, all of which require regular updates and maintenance...oh boy. What have I done...

The purpose of this post was to assure everyone that I am indeed still alive. Once I have shaken all the flickr, photoshop and fonts out of my cranium and returned to reality, I will make a real post. Until then, I present this for your listening pleasure...thank you Lord Pugh.

Slackhopper Vortex

2006-03-25T18:26:00.000-05:00

This is my brain on iMAC...my new iMAC...mine all mine...sweet mother of God it'scool! And the speakers I got sound better than the ones we have hooked up to our home stereo. I may not been seen in public for a while as I am still on a serious learning dead man's curve...but I will emerge shortly all pasty, dehydrated and bug-eyed an avid MAC user...fear not!!...now back to the fun...

A Brain Dropping

2006-03-19T12:48:00.000-05:00

So why the hell didn't "Sin City" win any Oscars this year? Oh yea...you have to be nominated to win...

...fucking Acadamy Awards...

Local Film Threats

2006-03-18T18:04:00.000-05:00

Local Sault boy, Kevin Perry is one step away from the final round of the National Film Board's current short film competition, Make Shorts, Not War. I think that's pretty damn cool. Each week, NFB members can view the shorts and rate each one. At the end of the week, the two lowest rated films are eliminated. There are currently four remaining shorts and Perry's is among them. What makes his film even cooler is the sound track is provided by the Inner City Surfers...a rather intersting and locally significant detail omitted from the SooNews.ca coverage. Good luck, Kevin...you've got my vote.

In other film news, tall dude with camera and good buddy to all Dan Nystedt has recently returned from a 3 week stint in Toronto with the first 20 minutes of his documentary film,"The Middle". Over the past 2 or so years, Dan has been interviewing, filming and drinking with Canadian touring bands who have graced the stage at the Downbeat Lounge.

He gave a few lucky viewers a sneak preview of his film Thursday night, where else, at the Downbeat Lounge. So far, so good...the film looks fantastic and I can't wait to see the final full product. I'm very proud of you, Dan and keep up the good work putting the Sault on the map. Say "hi" to Bruce MacDonald for me...

Rebel Rebel

2006-03-14T15:35:00.000-05:00

I did it...I dove in head first and bought a Canon Rebel XT Sunday, March 12, 2006 at 1:38pm. It's my new baby. I even brought it to work with me Monday 'cuz I couldn't stand to be appart from her. Now I just have to learn how to use it. The accompanying software is not compatable with my old operating system, however, which bummed me out. But then I spent even more $$$ on a SanDisk card reader/writer and just like that, problem solved. I am so smart...S-M-R-T...

Trauma not Troma

2006-03-10T11:26:00.000-05:00

That's right...the debut gig for the lastest Mr. West band will occure this Sunday night at Loplops Lounge. It's bound to be a feast for the ears and eyes, however, the Toxic Avenger will not attend (boo). We can all use a little Trauma in our lives so come and get your dose...

Sorry for the theft of your poster, Mr. West...I couldn't help myself...

Some Funny Things Happen on the Way to My Blog...

2006-03-05T18:30:00.000-05:00

So now that I am over the tragic Canadian Olympic hockey loss, I can get back to blogging...

There is a fun site meter thing on this blog where I can look and see who is looking at me. It offers all kinds of interesting tid-bits about who has visited my blog, where they're from, what browser they use, computer operating system, how long they were here and etcetera. It even tells me their IP address...if only I were a hacker...

My favourite part is the "referrals". This tells me where they came from to find my blog...most come from Craig's, Curt's or Jay's sites. Others stumble across it through random Google, Yahoo or MSN searches...these can be VERY interesting. I always look at what a person was looking for when they came across my blog, and some of them boarder on bizarre. There are a lot of "Slackhopper" searches (Dan, is that you?)...the following is a list of some of the oddities, word for word as they appeare in the searches;

- amazing and breath-taking majic tricks to learn off the computer ...yes, that is how they spelled 'magic'...

- bikini wax

- pictures of Grace Hopper as a baby ...no relation...wish she was...she helped invent the first computer...

- Patti Craig drug bust...I knew you two were up to no good...

- teenage highschool sex

- sault gay boys ...Dave, is that you?...

- graeme poll dancing ...wouldn't be the first time...

- Denis Leary cure for cancer photo

- yea yea I am newly celebrated lyrics ...this one makes NO sense and I have no idea what the hell they were looking for...a little help, here...

- nun debauchery ....someone's goin' ta hell....

- Barbie and Ken doing exotic things together ...who HASN"T seen that...

- where is sir isaac newton barried ...first of all, it's 'buried'...second of all that's not how a Google search works, moron...you can't just ask the computer a question and have the answer magically appear on the screen...sheeesh...

- hair everywhere ref hairy girls video ...*gag*...

There were a lot of others I could list, but I only started keeping track of them a short while ago. I have since gotten into the habit of checking every day and writing the interesting ones down, so rest assured there will be similar posts in this here blog's future.

NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

2006-02-22T16:47:00.000-05:00

Canada just got eliminated from Olympic Men's hockey...lost against Russia about two minutes ago...no medal for us at all...how does this happen?...we're freakin' Canada for cryin' in the sink!! I'm sad...

...some STUFF and a few THINGS...

2006-02-21T13:04:00.000-05:00

Winter blows goats. And this city's snow removal team blows the biggest, evilest goats of them all. Not once this winter have they cut the banks back from the stretch of Wellington Street upon which I live. If you want to seriously risk life and limb, try backing out of my driveway...it's a rush!

Now for something completely different...

In music news, I have discovered my new favourite band.
Living Things. I saw a video of theirs on "The Wedge" about a week ago and said "Holy shit these guys are awesome!" I then downloaded a few more tunes and fell in love. After visiting their website I was hooked. Go there. Go there now! I now own the CD and it has taken up permanent residence in my CD changer. If you take Iggy Pop, Sloan and the Killers and smoosh them all together, you get Living Things...very cool...

Also in music,
Magneta Lane's new album has just been released in North America. These hot babes are gonna be huge and the album is awesome. I think I purchased the last copy at CD Plus, but go on a hunt for it...you will not be disappointed.

Pandora. Have I told you about Pandora yet? I have been trying my darndest to spread the word about Pandora. It's an on-line music station...but it's much much more than that. You basicly create your own radio stations...like having your own personal DJ. Enter the name of a band or song you like and Pandora will find other music with similar sounds and styles to play. You then give each song a thumbs up or thumbs down and soon you have created your ultimate station...it's VERY cool and a great way to discover music and bands you may not have otherwise heard about. To register, you have to be a resident of the US...it will ask you for a Zip Code...just enter the one for Sault Michigan and you're all good...49783...have fun and you're welcome...

In local music news......

...the Speakeasy...be there and throw bras at the boys...they like that...come and marvel at the new skinny Mr. West...witness the continuing battle of who is a side project to whom...be amazed at the drummer who can drink a beer faster than a speeding bullet...it's a freak show not to be missed!!

Unfortunately, I will miss it...I will be playing the part of bar wench that evening at LopLops...type-casting be damned!

...also, Mr. Mark Kunsti will be doing a solo gig at the Downbeat Lounge this Thursday evening. I believe he also sent me a poster but I accidently deleted it from my e-mail...sorry dude...my bad... Mark has a smooth sweet voice like butter and he always plays "Eat My Brain" for me...thanks Mark! Maybe Lord Pugh will show up and they can do "Silver Water"...possibly the greatest local country song DLP doesn't remember writing...

This Friday night at the Downbeat Lounge,
Controller Controller will be performing once again. If you missed them the last time, this is your chance to see an amazing band that is sure to go big. (their music can be found on Pandora, which I thought was pretty cool...) High energy, multi-talented and a lot of freakin' fun!! And you can definitely dance to it... I will be playing the roll of video assistant to Mr. Dan Nystedt that evening...a roll I would love to have permanently. See y'all there!

Finally, this Sunday evening get ready to rock out with your cock out!...the
Ultimate Power Duo will be performing at the Downbeat Lounge. With obvious influences like the Ramones and Spinal Tap, a good time is unavoidable. Raise a glass and a fist to the Ultimate power Duo!!

Nar-Nar!...for the last time...promise...

2006-02-12T08:34:00.000-05:00

Thus begins the final installment of my Dominican tour in pictures...then I will stop boasting and get on with my life...promise...

This was at the country house/ranch/farm/whatever it was...Sandro said this was typically how the average Dominican person lived, although this particular family did a bit better than most because a few of these tours stopped at their house and bought their products...I'm sure the tour company kicked in a couple of bucks as well...

The kitchen...that blue seemed to be a very common colour down there for houses and such...the home had natural gas and electricity, but no running water. A very large percentage of homes have natural gas, a lot have electricity but the running water seems to be the issue. As we entered the home, Sandro said Dominican people are extremely clean even though the general impression by outsiders is that it is a dirty country..."If you want to know what kind of person someone is, look at how clean their house is" he said, I think trying to dispel the idea that these people and others like them are "lower class"...the house was spotless...

This family grew coconuts, mangos, sweet lemons, pineapples, coffee, bananas, cocoa, oregano and aloe vera...they also raised roosters...that's coming up in just a minute...I think I saw a goat or two hangin' around as well...that's a cocoa tree posing with Sandro...

We got to sample most of it...I have never tasted cocoa or coffee even close to what we had there...WOW! is all I can say...and fruit so fresh and delicious it pinched me on the butt...

Yep...that's a cock fight...I said "cock" (teehee)...apparently it is a very lucrative business down there, perfectly legal and a good cock (teehee) sells for around $1000.00 US. Renegging on a cock (teehee) fight bet results in a fate worse than death...shame and dishonour...
They wash the cocks (teehee) in rum to toughen the skin...Weird...
This battle was not to the death and only lasted about 5 minutes, but it was cool none the less...

This is the view of the mountains from the ranch where we ate a lunch of beans and rice, BBQed pork and bread...YUMMMM! We also went horseback riding...I got bit on the leg by the asshole horse the Greek lady was riding...OUCH!!...then he tried another two or three times to get me...that horse was a dick head...maybe he thought I has an apple...I am pretty fuckin' sweet...

We hung out there for a bit looking at the alligators, flamingos, various other birds and the terrified monkey in the cage...oh yeah...and the really sad sickly looking dogs...

I found my favourite souvenir there...a really gnarley piece of beach glass that I will be making into a pendant...I love free....

That's Dave in the thick of the school children feeding frenzy of candy...they completely surrounded and ambushed the truck, their tiny hands reaching in and grabbing at us like something out of a nightmare...it was CRAZY...a lot of the people on the tour brought candy to hand out...I forgot mine at the resort but I did bring school supplies and they loved it..."A mi, a mi, Senora, a mi!" they would scream, meaning "to me". I did end up buying a bag of candy at the store behind Dave and tried to hand the sweets out in an orderly fashion, making sure to get to the really little ones but by the time my hand got down to them it was always empty.

Off to the side, Rob and Sandro were discussing the situation. This practice used to bother Sandro a great deal until he remembered what it was like when he was young and his uncle would visit from New York and bring him candy. Sandro and the driver let this craziness go on for a bit and then they would step in and chill things out...the kids always listened to them and order was returned...

On the ride back to the main truck loading place (I talk good English, eh?) Sandro spent most of the journey asleep in the front of the truck...he was a bit hung over, I think...it seems the local baseball team won some sort of National championship and the whole town celebrated...very loudly...we could hear the ruckus at the resort...

The gang in the back of the truck did not mind...we emptied the beer cooler thanks to the French guy who was a champ at opening beer bottles with a lighter...VIVE LA FRANCE!!

The excursion and the beautiful wedding made going into debt toally worth while. The resort was beautiful and awesome and fun, but I am so happy we got to see the real Dominican Republic. I would do it again in a heart beat.

Now for a few more general fun photos of high jinx and stuff...

...not there 4 hours yet and drunk already...Graeme is the champ...

...at the swim up bar...of course...

...best bed buddies in the lobby bar...

...me with a monkey on my back...uh, shoulder...

...three fingers at the buffet bar...Rob, Donna and Dave...

Kelvin...Jay's Spanish teacher and bartender and friend to all...

...Speedo Steve-O and the Princess...

...my God we were happy to be there!

More Dominican Tid-Bits

2006-02-09T11:43:00.000-05:00

I'll say it again...oh so hard to express in words just how cool it was to be in the tropics, donning a bathing suit and swimming in the ocean in the middle of January. For me. Toronto was exotic, so being so close to the equater was a thrill. Here are some more pix and notes...

Rob, Dave and I took a day long tour of the country side the day following the wedding. The first stop was a HUGE sugar cane field...I mean it was ginormous! We drove through it for almost an hour...acres and acres of sugar cane...they let us sample raw sugar cane as Sandro, our guide, explained the history, cultivation and economic relavance of the sugar cane industry...quite interesting. After eating the sugar cane, Sandro then went on to discuss the production of Rum, during which we consumed a large portion of said liquid form of sugar cane...it was 9:30 in the morning and I had a serious buzz going on...

That's Sandro riding the back of the truck with a few local children who had hitched a ride in the hopes of getting some candy. There were kids at every speed bump...the truck had to slow down at these spots, so they would hang out there so the tourist would throw candy to them.

Our next stop was the Cigar Museum where we were given a shot of Mamajuana, an absolutely mouth watering combination of dried, cured roots and herbs steeped in a mixture of rum, red wine and honey. We drank A LOT of Mamajuana on this vacation...they call it the Dominican Viagra...hummmm.

Pictured above is a typical Dominican butcher shop. We passed through a lot of small villages and towns during our tour and these were everywhere. Sandro said that a lot of tourists are grossed out by the meat just hanging there...they eat it every day and he said if we ate it it would not make us sick...it was all in our heads...would you risk it?

...same butcher shop...one pig, two heads...'nuff said...

On the way to a typical country farm, we saw some AMAZING scenery. The ride was long, rough, dusty and hot and I LOVED every minute of it! What a beautiful country. Passing through some of the villages was difficult...a lot of these people are so poor it would break your heart. I got stabbed with pangs of guilt as Johnny Rottens voice echoed in my head..."You shouldn't holiday in other people's misery"...

I wanted to scoop up all the children and take them home with me...

On this note, I will sign off. Time to return to reality and get shit done. More to come soon so stay tuned folks!

FINALLY....some notes on the trip....

2006-02-08T10:13:00.000-05:00

Yes, I know....

We've been back for almost two weeks now and I haven't written anything about the trip to the Dominican. Sorry 'bout that. The thing is, I was in the Dominican for about two hours when I completely forgot it was winter and I had climatized to the heat and humidity....I still have not re-climatized to the cold and snow...this place SUCKS ass...at least in the winter...

It is almost impossible to put into words just how freakin' awesome the trip was and how beautiful a country it is....so I will show you.

Here are some highlights........

This was the view of the Island as we made our descent. I commented to Rob that even the clouds looked exotic...

We just arrived at the resort after a 40 minute ride from the airport. Carlos, our guide, explained a bit about life in the Dominican and issued some warnings to tourists...where to shop, where not to shop...stay away from the Casinos...what to buy and how to tell if it is real...he was good, spoke English quite well and was VERY easy on the eyes...where is my photo of him and I, Mr. Olsen?

Yup...I was actually there...that's me on our ocean view balcony in my new bikini...we spent a good portion of our mornings hanging out on the balcony staring at the ocean...and laughing at fat guys in speedos...and pointing out naked boobies...

...some of the gang at the swim up pool bar...we spent A LOT of time there...unfortunately it closed every day at 6:00, so we would go eat and then head to the bar at the lobby. it closed at midnight, so we would then head to the bar in the buffet restaurant which was open all night...uh-oh...

That's me sitting on the pool bar with Alex, the bartender. he was great, a lot of fun and also worked in the lobby bar so he saw A LOT of this crew...

This is the market about 15 minutes down the beach from our resort...one of the places Carlos warned us about...the Amber and Larimar (the National stone of the Dominican Republic only found there) are all fake although they'll tell you otherwise. The vendors are very aggressive, yelling things like "Cheapy cheapy!", "Almost free!", "For you, special price" and "Boxing week sale!". There were about a dozen different shops but they all had exactly the same things. Jodi even got an offer of marriage from one of the vendors..."You are like milk and I am like coffee. Our skin looks beautiful together. If you want to stay I will marry you." How could she pass that up?

Mr. and Mrs. Cooper during the ring exchange ceremony on the beach. It was beautiful and touching...not a dry eye on the beach...

A Mariachi band played as they had their first dance on the beach...everything was picture perfect...and hot...did I mention it was really freakin' hot that day?...yup...definitely hot...

Part two of the Dominican will be posted shortly. There is much more to show. Until then...NAR NAR!!...

Nar Nar....

2006-01-17T18:39:00.000-05:00

T minus 5 days and I will be sunning myself on the beautiful white sandy beaches of the Dominican Republic.....nar nar.....granted, Rob and I had to go into debt to do it, but looking at the blizzard we are at this moment experiencing makes it all worth while. And how lovely it will be to witness the nuptuals of the sweet, sultry Meghan Alton to the dashing Graeme Cooper....on the beach.....at sunset.....a postcard come to life.....*sniff sniff*.....now wipe away a tear.....

In other news, I voted today. I commented to Rob this morning that it has been years that I have actually voted FOR someone....not since Ed Broadbent was the leader of the NDP, actually. I have settled onto the routine of voting in the hopes that the evilest of many do not gain power. I don't want any of our current parties to have absolute power, but I had to pick the one I felt had the best chance of beating the Conservatives....or at least keep them from having a majority government.

......Craig West, don't forget about "Operation Ex-Pat" if the Conservatives do win.....I will be keeping a close eye on my e-mail, buddy.....

I must go and attend to my laundry. I have to wash all my summer clothes to bring with me.....nar nar.....

Letterman and O'Reilly Duke It Out

2006-01-05T21:12:00.000-05:00

Anyone see Bill O'Reilly on David Letterman Tuesday January 3, 2006? No? Well you should have....it was AWESOME!!! When Rob found out that O'Reilly was Letterman's guest that evening, I could tell he was a bit disappointed that Letterman would have him on the show. I responded by stating I thought it would be interesting and Letterman may just tear O'Reilly a new one......he didn't let me down.

I guess the highlight would have been when Letterman told O'Reilly, "I think about 60% of what you say is crap." When O'Reilly asked Letterman to back up his statement, David told him "that would be impossible" because he doesn't watch the show.

Then there is always, "I don't believe this is an actual threat. I think this is something that happened here and it happened there and so people like you are trying to make us think that it's a threat." which is what David said to O'Reilly regarding the War on Christmas....you go Dave!!

Neither Bill nor David looked very happy during the interview, and at the end of it David swung his chair around and stared at the papers on his desk...no during commercial banter for Mr. O'Reilly, I guess.

To view the full clip, click here. You will have to scroll down to almost the bottom of the page to find it, but it is sooo worth it.

Vive la Letterman!!!

BREAKING NEWS...

2005-12-31T18:02:00.000-05:00

Mr. James Case has a website. I repeat, Mr. James (I cut off my own fingers and I can still play mean fuckin' guitar) Case has a smokin' hot website.

I only see one flaw with this synario...it will now be impossible to keep our home grown guitar God to ourselves here in modest Sault Ste. Marie. Jay, meet World. World, meet Jay.

With a voice than can make a nun rip her clothes off and grab the nearest male to engage in unspeakable acts of passion coupled with his unique and undeniable talents as a musician and song writer, it will not be long before he is noticed and whisked away to bigger and brighter stuff and things. Just remember all us little people when you're a big rock star, Jay. I'll even work for you, if you like. I'm assuming the position of "Personal Ball Sanitation Engineer" has been taken by George Ravlich, so I'll have to find something else I can do...maybe I could be your sound technician...that looks like a pretty easy gig...a no brainer, really...

...excuse me, but I must run and hide from Mr. Ravlich now...

Anyway, congratulations Jay. The site looks stellar! The site was of course, designed by Curt O'Neil of Murderfly Multimedia. Nice job, CO. However, the pictures could use some work. I think you should give me that junk camera you've been using and get a new one...*wink wink*

Holiday in a Nutshell

2005-12-29T18:05:00.000-05:00

Hope evryone had a glorious holiday. My Christmas was fantastic full of friends, family and good times.

Rob loved his gift. I had Robbie Adamson burn the record onto CD for me so on Christmas morning Rob awoke to Johnny Cash belting out "Hey Good Lookin'". He emerged perplexed from the bedroom in his boxers wondering where the hell I had found Johnny singing Hank Williams. He was more than pleasantly surprized to see the autographed LP resting on the fireplace mantle. All went according to plan... bwah ha ha ha....

He gave me the awesome book pictured above...The Weekly World News ROCKS!!!...and the special edition 2 DVD set of "Sin City", plus a stocking full of fun games, toys and music...Bedouin Sound Clash and Death From Above...fun fun fun...

But stay tuned folks, for the holiday season is not quite through. We still have New Year's Eve ahead and you KNOW I will be talking tons of photos that night. If I will not be seeing you that evening, be safe and I wish you all the best in the new year.

...oh yes...and look what Jay Case got for Christmas...

...a passed out George Ravlich ripe for the sodomy...lucky Jay...

HAPPY HAPPY HO HO HO!!

2005-12-24T13:50:00.000-05:00

Just a quick note to wish one and all a very Merry Christmas. May Santa drop the best of the season down your chimney.....and may rabid, drunken elves chew off the nuts of Bill O'Reilly and all the other evil doers of this planet. (do I know how to spread joy, or what?) CHEERS!!

Merry happy Christmas holidays

2005-12-16T01:16:00.000-05:00

I love Jon Stewart. Bill O'Reilly apparently hates Jon Stewart because "The Daily Show", a spoof news program, is more news worthy than his own Fox Network "news" program. Jon Stewart pokes fun at Bill O'Reilly. I laugh and think to myself, "Self, that Bill O'Reilly fella is a jackass."

As of late, Mr. O'Reilly has been discussing and debating the apparent American war on Christmas. He claims that Americans are trying to eliminate Christmas because some people say "Happy Holidays" rather than "Merry Christmas". While discussing this issue on his show, he agreed that it would be silly for individuals to be insulted by the term "Merry Christmas" if said greeting was directed at someone of other-than-Christian faith...someone Jewish or Hindu, perhaps. In the next breath he demanded the phrase "Happy Holidays" was utterly insulting to individuals of Christian faith.

...huh...interesting...Jon Stewart thought it was interesting too.

I think Bill O'Reilly needs to lighten the fuck up and try to find real news to talk about. What he is trying to do is make a non-issue into an issue. He is picking and scratching and clawing at a freckle until it bleeds and then claims it's cancer.

His main support for his argument are major national department stores such as Gap, Walmart and Sears that post "Happy Holidays" or "Seasons Greetings" in their windows rather than "Merry Christmas". I think it's a cost issue, not a secular issue. This time of year boasts two holidays; Christmas and New Years Eve. Two is plural. Saying "Happy Holidays" is just more time and cost effective than saying "Merry Christmas and Happy New Year".

OK. So I am partially joking about the whole cost effective thing. The truth is the "Christ" has been slowly slipping out of "Christmas" for quite some time. Although the holiday still carries His name, many individuals forget, or better yet "disregard" what the day is supposed to represent. Ya know why? Because a large portion of the population don't care. If they cared, the "Christ" would not be slipping out of "Christmas".

For those who do care, no one is stopping you from going to church and honouring the birthday of baby Jesus by killing a tree. By all means, have at it. But I'll let you in on a little secret...December 25 was not Christ's birthday.

(I love Wikipedia and here's why...)

On or around December 25 ancient Romans celebrated the festival of Saturnalia in honour of--you guessed it--Saturn, the God of farming or agriculture. They would cut down evergreens (signifigant because they did not die in the winter) and decorate them to pay homage to Saturn...a sacrafice, as it were.

The festival was mostly a lot of goofing around, something like April Fool's Day, when masters and slaves would switch roles and the like. It was so much fun that the holiday expanded to almost a week long. Always trying to out do themselves as the Romans often did, the festival gradually degraded into utter debauchery. So much so that soon the word "saturnalia" came to mean "orgy" to the Christians.

AWESOME!!!

It is widely believed that in the fourth century, the Christians assigned December 25 as Christ's birthday in a effort to "Christianize" the pagans celebrating Saturnalia. Rather than eliminate an already popular holiday and try to get them to celebrate an entirely new one, they must have thought it was easier to just replace it. How'd they stop the orgies, that's what I wanna know.

By the way, December 25 is also the secular holiday "Newtonmas" in honour of Sir Isaac Newton.

So getting back to Mr. Bill O'Reilly, I have this to say to him this holiday season; (in honour of Christmas) "Seasons Greetings you self righteous moron", (in honour of Newtonmas) "Happy Genius You Will Never Be Day" and (in honour of Saturnalia) "Go fuck yourself." How ever you want to celebrate is entirely up to you, but leave the rest of us alone and find some real news to talk about.

Long live Jon Stewart!

Holiday Favourites

2005-12-13T12:55:00.000-05:00

So not so long ago, one of our local on-line news sources had a poll asking their readers what their favourite Christmas movie was. That's all fine and dandy, however, there were a few glaring omissions...

1. A Christmas Story. How, pray tell, could any self respecting Christmas movie poll writer leave this little gem out? They should be ashamed of themselves! Even the 30 Second Bunnies Theatre troop felt it important enough to include in their new programming...click
here to view. Be careful...you'll shoot your eye out...

2. A Wish For Wings That Work. An awesomely funny Berkeley Breathed animated tale. Opus the penguin writes...well...actually, he faxes his letter to Santa expressing his desire to fly after finding little comfort in his "Flightless Bird Support Group"...Robin Williams plays the part of a Kiwi bird whose wife left him for an Albatross...this scene alone is worth the price of admission. Click here to find out more. And if any of you ever see this on DVD anywhere, buy it, buy it, BUY IT!! I'll love you forever.

3. The Nightmare Before Christmas. In my opinion, this is Tim Burton's crown jewel. A beautifully funny and imaginative feat of stop-motion animation. I love Jack Skellington. I want to marry him. Click here to fall in love too.

4. The Ref. OK. This one is not so obvious, but you will bust a gut laughing. Denis Leary plays a thief turned marriage counsellor on Christmas eve. Denis Leary...Kevin Spacey...what more do you want?...yea, yea, yea...click here to blah blah blah...I happen to own this one if anyone wishes to borrow it.

5. Toys. One of my favourite Robin Williams movies with a "Hamlet" sort of story line...but without the incestual undertones...and Joan Cusack (sp?) who plays the Ophellia-type character is his sister...robot sister...OK, so it's nothing like "Hamlet" but it does have an evil, underhanded uncle...and LL Cool J...just see the damn movie! It's a lot of fun.

6. Die Hard. 'Nuff said. Yippy-kiyay motherfucker...

There you have it. My list of some of the most over looked Christmas movies. I watched "The Grinch" (the original, not the evil live action monstrosity) twice yesterday thanks to time shifting. I stick my tongue out to all who cannot experience the joys of time shifting...tee hee...

Something Revisited

2005-12-03T20:33:00.000-05:00

Well, with the joyous season of Christmas apon us, I feel the need to revisit The Christmas Resistance Movement. I took another look at their site the other day and when I was finished laughing at their Russian propaganda style poster (which I love, by the way), I got a little upset. I am not a mindless drone who consumes because I am told to. I like buying gifts for people, so I say to them "Stick some holly in it!"

Christian or not, Christmas is a very imortant holiday for us stupid, stupid humans. You see we, by our very nature, are greedy, self centered creatures. We need reminders that there are those around that are important to us and this holiday almost forces us to acknowledge them. I don't see this as a bad thing. That is not to say you have to go broke buying and shopping and spending and fighting in the aisles for the last and latest "Crack Whore Barbie"....

hmmmmm.... Crack Whore Barbie... I think I need to market that... she could have accessories like tiny little compacts to cover those nasty bruises and track lines, crotchless panties and itty-bitty glass pipes...

Anyway, to get to the heart of my point, and I do have one, Christmas is a time of gathering friends and family, and sharing in the "spirit" of giving... giving extra attention, sharing laughs and stories, shovelling your nieghbours driveway or whatever. If this also includes the giving of gifts, then so be it. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING gives me greater satisfaction than finding that perfect gift for someone. Someone in my life this year is getting the perfect gift, but I cannot discuss this until after Christmas... most of you already know what it is... tee hee...

So, by all means, eat, drink and be merry... stick it to those stupid Christmas Resistance Movement people and spread the true meaning of Christmas...

Christ... I sound like an after school special. At least I kept the "Christ" in "Christmas"...

Dog Beaten With Ugly Stick Dies At 14

2005-11-23T23:26:00.000-05:00

Sam the Ugliest Dog in the world dies just shy of his 15 birthday. Being the dog lover that I am, I was shocked and more than a little horrified when Rob showed me pictures of the "precious" pooch. That's one fucking ugly dog. You be the judge...

...how'd ya like to wake in the morning to find that thing licking your face...yikes...'nuff said...

Did you know....?

2005-11-20T09:45:00.000-05:00

...a little peek at the inner workings of the Slackhopper...

I am a closet AC/DC fan (Bon Scott AC/DC) but a public Neil Diamond fan. Why? Not sure...just am...
My biggest pet peeve is shopping carts left scattered in the parking lot. Nothing bugs me more than pulling into what I think is a parking spot only to have my plan foiled by someone else's laziness. Grrrrr!
I think my husband has the sexiest mouth on the planet...and not just because he is my husband. I thought that long before we even started dating.
I never smoked pot until I was 23 years old. And I only ever drank under age twice (in Canada, anyway); at my brother's wedding when I was 14 and at my Mother's wedding when I was 16.
I LOVE Madonna's "Ray of Light". Please don't hate me...laugh all you want, but don't hate...
When I was a child, I used to think a "Coin Wash" was where you took your money to get cleaned.
I was in the Chess Club in elementary school...GEEK!!
I own a copy of "Air Supplies Greatest Hits" (on vinyl) and would make out with my highschool sweetheart to it all the time....*shudder*....
I once co-owned a 1959 Ford Fairlane Town and Country Sedan with my first boyfriend and we were members of the Sault Street Rod Association for a short time.
I took four years of saxophone in highschool and the only thing I can play is "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star". I have completely lost the ability to read music.
When I was a child, I would not eat things like Kraft Dinner, chocolate cake or hot dogs, but I loved things like brussel spouts, parsnips and liver. I was some what backwards...
I find Steven Tyler from Aerosmith sexy.
One of my favourite movies ever is "The Breakfast Club"...I will not apologize...
I think I am the only woman on the planet who HATES the show "Sex in the City". I find it demeaning and stereo-typical, portraying women as shallow nymphomaniac shopaholics who have nothing better to do than drink cosmopolitans, buy shoes and gossip. It's stupid. I wish it would go away.

It was Frank with a "p" "h"....

2005-11-16T00:47:00.000-05:00

Frank McCormick came out to musicians night tonight and played. It was awesome. He was awesome. Way to go, Shit Bitch. Good to see ya again.

....and what to my wondering eyes should appear...

2005-11-09T19:55:00.000-05:00

Between the wind and sunshine and rain and darkness and sleat and near snow, we captured this image today at work...by far the biggest and brightest rainbow I have ever had the pleasure of viewing. Unfortunately it had faded a bit by the time I realized we had a digital camera at work.

Have you been outside today? Not pretty. In fact, it's down right ugly...Toxic Avenger ugly. 30 years ago tomorrow, the Edmund Fitzgerald went down in a huge storm.....hmmmmm....

Today is my Birthday

2005-10-29T14:40:00.000-04:00

So far I've had my right nipple bitten twice...by girls, Rob bought me a "CSI Forensic Facial Reconstruction Kit" and I received a happy birthday greeting from the staff at "Worth1000.com". It's been very interesting so far. I'll let you know how things work out.

Maybe 35 won't be so bad after all...

HOLY CRAP!!...I saw U2...

2005-10-27T11:01:00.000-04:00

City of Blinding Lights
Vertigo
Elevation
I Will Follow
Gloria
The Ocean
Still Haven’t Found
Beautiful Day
Miracle Drug
Sometimes you Can’t Make it On Your Own
Love and Peace or Else
Sunday Bloody Sunday
Bullet The Blue Sky
Miss Sarajevo
Pride in the Name of Love
Where the Streets Have No Name
One

First Time
Wild Horses
With or Without You

Crumbs From Your Table
Bad

Two hours of U2 live. It was freakin' amazing...breath taking...awesome...even from our nose bleed seats. "Wow" is all I can say. I even got a little misty, I'm not embarassed to say, during "Where the Streets Have No Name"...

There were only about two or three songs from the new album I was unfamilliar with. I will be buying it today, hopefully.

U2 live. WOW!

From House to Maiden and Back Again

2005-10-23T12:55:00.000-04:00

So I'm out last night at the Downbeat grooving to Alec's house music, when Dan Nystedt said he was going to Foggy's to video tape Tracey Hilderly's new band, Plethora. I'm totally into the house music and dancing and having a grand old time, but I think "What the hell. I like Tracey. I'll go too."

As we approached Foggy's door, a sense of urgency rushed through me.

"Holy fuck, Dan! They're playing 'Hot Child in the City'. Hurry up!"

Knowing Tracey for as long as I have (going on 30 years!), "Hot Child in the City" was not a surprise and she did a fantastic job. It made me happy. What came next was definitely a surprise.

Pointing at Dan and his camera, Tracey said, "For the sake of my own vanity, we're gonna pull a little number out for you. Well actually, it's a big number." She turned her back to the audience and started the intro speech in the lowest, evilest voice she could muster.

"Is this what I think it is?"

The band kicked in and Tracey let loose the greatest rock and roll scream I have ever heard.

"Are you fucking kidding me right now!?" I exclaimed to absolutely, positively no one. They were doing Maiden...yes...Iron Maiden. "Number of the Beast" to be exact. I couldn't believe my ears and my chin was sweeping the sludge from Foggy's floor. It was the awesomest thing ever.

But wait...there's more...

After Maiden, I heard Ferguson call out for "Sweet". What? Did he just ask for "Sweet"? Right as rain, the follow up to Maiden was "Fox on the Run". All of a sudden I was 8 sitting at the top of the basement stairs while my brother listened to records and made out with his girlfriend. It was killer.

During set break, I manned the camera while Dan interviewed Tracey...in the men's room...while taking a pee...it was weird.

So weird in fact, I headed back to the Downbeat for more of DJ Saige's infectious grooves. The joint was jumpin', packed with wannabe ravers and drummers with dreads. Plenty of fun was had by all and I'm sure one or two high jinx ensued throughout the course of the evening.

I decided to close out with a quiet drink at Lop Lops, where I had a very lengthy and in depth discussion with Ken regarding remodelling possibilities for my home. Damn he's good. I guess that's why he's the architect and I'm the loan shark.

I drove to work this morning and CRANKED Van Halen's "Hot For Teacher"...connecting with my derd roots...

Now I am listening to Alec's newly released remix C.D., "Movement". It has come full circle.

"Washing Cheetahs, We Bequeath" Part II; Barried Alive in Fucking Toronto

2005-10-21T22:51:00.000-04:00

Arriving right on time, Theriault picked me up at work and after a quick stop at the house, we were on the road to Barrie. We talked and listened to loud music and drank Tim's the whole way there. He is a fun traveling companion. We were both sick, so we got all of our "I don't feel good" whining out of the way so as not to bother any one else with it.

"I know where I am FOR SURE this time" was the phrase of the evening once we hit Barrie. Three or four unplanned tours around the city later, we pulled in at chez Alexis with numb bums and booze in hand. The household was sleepy with post "Taffy's Birthday" hangovers, so it was a "hello", one quick drink and "goodnight" sort of evening. It was somewhat unsettling to learn that Brad
lived in the 'burbs. As he put it, "I like the 'burbs. They don't like me but I like them."

The pitter-patter of Brad preparing his wake 'n bake woke me at 8am. I got up. I NEVER get up that early unless I HAVE to, but what the hell. I grabbed a coffee and listened to the boys play a couple of tunes and then it was off to the Simcoe for breakfast, after which Alexis drove me into Toronto.

Dwayne was not home from Godrich yet when we arrived in Toronto. He resides in the less than desirable 'hood of Parkdale and Alexis refused to leave me there by myself. She dropped me off around the corner at the Drake Hotel
where Dwayne works. I sat in the cafe, people watching and drinking a chai latte for about half an hour and decided to go for a walk. "I'll just walk to University...it's not that far..." I told myself. Yea, right. An hour later I was at the intersection of University and Queen, sick, tired, hungry and sore from carrying my luggage around. It was with a heavy sigh and dragging feet that I turned around to walk back to the Drake. Fucking Toronto .

I did manage to find a copy of "Social Distortion: Live at the Roxy" for Rob at Rotate This. YAY!

The nice gay boy at the desk at the Drake told me I missed Dwayne by about 3 minutes. More walking...goody...

The front door to Dwayne's building was unlocked. Good sign. There were 2 doors inside. I put my ear to the first...silence. From the second I could hear the sounds of P.I.L. echoing through the apartment. This must be the place. I knocked. Rowan answered the door. YAY!! I could finally sit down...or so I thought...

Dwayne owns NOTHING. I mean, he has a lot of stuff but no things to put said stuff on or in. There was a coffee table, a chair and a futon...that's it for furniture. Scattered everywhere were records, C.D.s, clothes, books and various musical doo-dads. I was hoping for at least a couch to stretch out on for a few minutes. Fucking Toronto.

After a lovely meal of chicken and pasta, and the three of us taking turns blowing up my bed, Dwayne, Rowan and I headed out for the evening to...where else...Sneaky Dee's., of course. I was sick as a dog. Didn't care. On vacation. Must ignore flu.

A turkey dinner, multiple beer, 3 loud bands, a brief conversation with Jason Myles and some $1.00 shooters at Bistro 442 later, we were back at Dwayne's apartment and I was nestling into my floor for a good night's...well...a night's sleep. I only had to reinflate my bed once during the night. Feeling deprived of anything nutritious on this trip, I suck out in search of some fresh fruit when I finally arose at 3:30 in the afternoon. It's Toronto, right? Always fresh markets open everywhere, right? Not on Thanksgiving there isn't. I settled for a bottle of juice from a crumby corner store. Fucking Toronto.

Rowan headed for home to feed her starving cat and Dwayne and I wandered around Toronto for the afternoon. He had to make a quick stop at the studio to lay down a vocal track for his band, Murder Squad. The process took a total of about 15 minutes, during which the 'singer' ('screamer' may be a more fitting descriptor) told me an interesting story about the song currently being recorded.

I guess the song had been written some time ago and no one in the band could remember the actual words, so they made up goofy lyrics (not that you could understand them anyway, so what the hell). He had the engineer play his vocal track for me and asked if I knew what he was saying. Nope. Sounded like chain smoking wildebeest giving birth to a rusty chain saw. He laughed and told me he was saying "Washing cheetahs, we bequeath". And what did Dwayne sing? Nothing but a bunch of garbled screams ending with the word 'why'. Why not, I guess.

From there, we went to the Lakeview Cafe for another turkey dinner and then to "Sound Scapes" where I finally found myself a copy of "Freaks" on DVD. YAY!! It was time for Dwayne to go to work so I walked with him to the Drake and then back to his apartment to get ready for my big Social D. night. Donning my favourite jeans and a Sun Record Studio t-shirt, I was ready to rock out with my cock out!

"Washing Cheetahs, We Bequeath" Part I; a trip to heaven that almost went to hell in a hand basket.

2005-10-12T21:46:00.000-04:00

Two and a half months ago, a frantic e-mail is sent out to many of you from yours truly...

"Who wants to go see Social Distortion in Toronto on October 10, 2005?"

Most responses are "sorry, can't do it" but for two eager people, Beth Boskovitch and Dan Nystedt. YAY!! A plan is set. The three of us are ready to head out on an awesome adventure to Sudbury to see Cuff the Duke then to Toronto to see Social D. Oh what fun we will have! Tickets ordered, gas split 3 ways, accommodations arranged, time booked off...we're ready and raring to go...

As the date approaches, I grow more and more excited to see Social D. again and the chance to redeem myself for making a jackass out of myself the last time in Grand Rapids. Stay sober this time and use your brain for once, Donna, and you will be fine. When you meet Mike Ness again, take a deep breath and be cool. Easy. This plays out in my head for two months.

Thursday October 6, 2005, two days before our set departure date, Dan tenderly breaks the news that due to unforeseen circumstances he will be unable to embark on our long awaited journey to see the greatest punk/rock band ever. DAMN! But that's OK. Beth and I can still go. It will just cost us a little bit more than expected. And Dan's presence will surely be missed, being the wild and crazy ass fun guy that he is...CRAP!

Maybe I can still find a third to take the extra ticket and to split costs and driving...Patti, Craig, Trevor and a bunch of others...all "sorry, no can do." Robbie...yes!...ROBBIE!!...close, but no cigar...SHIT BALLS! I start to get a sinking feeling...

I pose the question to Beth, "If we can't find a third, do you still want to go?" to which she responded with a hesitant half-hearted, "yea, I guess." That sinking feeling just gave birth to a 200 pound baby and it sat on my head. I think I'm coming down with the flu...

Friday October 7, 2005, one day before our set departure date, Beth tenderly breaks the news that due to unforeseen circumstances she will be unable to embark on our long awaited journey to see the greatest punk/rock band ever. FUCK DAMN!! The sinking feeling's baby sitting on my head just kicked me in the ovaries. I officially have the flu and I think I'm getting my period...

Friday, I am NOT in love as "the Cure" may suggest...I am downright MISERABLE!! Not only do I have tickets to a Social D. show I cannot attend, I will be stuck in the Soo all weekend with nothing to do because the only interesting thing going on, Cuff the Duke at the Downbeat, is SOLD OUT! CRAP FUCK SHIT DAMN BALLS!!!

...fuck it...I'll walk to Toronto if I have to...

...hold on...relax and think for a minute, Donna...

Isn't Paul McCartney playing in Toronto the same night as Social Distortion? Yes, I believe he is. Isn't Mike Theriault going down for that show? Yes, I believe he is. A quick and frantic call to Trevor and I have Theriault's number. I call and beg for a lift...

"Hey, yea, no problem, Donna. I'm leaving Saturday. I can pick you up after work." REJOICE!! Get outta here you stupid fat fucking baby and take your sinking feeling with you!

"But I'm not driving into Toronto. I'm staying with Alexis and Brad in Barrie." Hold on guys...you may want to come back and sit on my head some more...

"Give me 15 minutes and I'll call Alexis and see if it's OK for you to crash there Saturday night then I can drive you into Toronto Sunday." Sit...stay...play dead...please play dead...

"Alexis said it was no problem. I'll see you Saturday."

"Sinky" and the evil 200 pounds have officially been euthanized. I do, however, still have the flu...and that other thing?...yea, that too...but I'm gonna see Social Distortion! YAY!!

I do a happy dance...I really do. But then I get dizzy and have to sit down, but the happy dance continues in my head for the next...well...four days, really...

Horton Glues a Who-Ha

2005-10-07T18:30:00.000-04:00

The beautiful Mrs. Meghan Cooper sent this story to me via e-mail and I HAD to share. You gents out there may be a bit uncomfortable but you ladies will pee yourself laughing...enjoy!

Laugh out Loud - Waxing (One Woman's Tale of Woe)

All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax.

My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: " Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet." So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those "cold wax "kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!)

So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ("Cold wax,"yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh, hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad.

I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.

With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I applythe wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my vagina and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!!

I 'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!! Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP!! Everything is swirly and spotted. I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal.

I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX???

Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax. CRAP! I run my fingers over the most sensitive partof my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake...

...remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down. DAMN!!!!!!!! I hear the slamming of a cell door. Vagina? Sealed shut! Butt?? Sealed shut! I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to>myself " Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off! " What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right??? *WRONG!!!!!!!*

I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.

So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cement-epoxied myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!! I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter...

"So, my butt and who-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub! "

There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located.

" Are we talking cheeks or hole or who-ha? " She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night.

While we go through various solutions. I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event.

My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace....the lotion>they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend. It's sooo painful, but I really don't care. "IT WORKS!! It works!! " I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up.

I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair....THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point.

Next week I'm going to try hair color......

Corb Lund and Me and Apes that use Tools...

2005-10-04T18:21:00.000-04:00

I was at the Corb Lund show at the Downbeat Lounge and you weren't...ha ha...sucks to be you 'cuz it was one fanfreakintastic show!

The house was packed, cowboy hats were donned by many and the tall, handsome ex-Smalls singer played and sang his heart out. I had never heard such loud crowds at the Downbeat before and it was well deserved. He is an amazing singer/songwriter backed by the "Hurtin' Albertans"...one of the tightest bands around. Everyone in attendance had a hootnanny of a good time.

Here is a photo of Corb and I...

Thanks T-Bone for sending me the photo...

If you have no idea who Corb Lund is check out his website and find the answers you seek; Who is Corb Lund? Where does he come from? What is his music like? Why is he wearing a "Slayer" t-shirt?

And now for something completely different........

The news a few nights ago gave me goose bumps. They were airing a report about apes...apes in the wild...apes in the wild using tools...VERY cool. Apparently, this was the first time apes have been observed in the wild using tools. Other primates, chimps and the like, have been seen using tools in captivity, scooping peanut butter out of a plastic tube with a stick. But the photos of the wild apes were almost chilling.

The nice news people reported that one female ape waded into a pond-like water source and did not like the fact that the chilly water reached levels beyond her waist. She left the water, gathered herself a long pole and used it to measure how deep the water was, ensuring she did not wade too deep...SHE WAS MEASURING HOW DEEP THE WATER WAS!! I have no words to express how cool I think this is...

For a full news story about this fascinating topic, click here. The photo included with the story is of the amazing measuring ape I spoke of. Go there...go there NOW and be in awe.

Never before have I seen such obvious evedence of evolution. It ran me over and rendered me speechless. I love it!

Take that you lousey Creationists!!! (now wave your fist in the air vigorously...)

blah, blah, blah.....

2005-09-27T09:54:00.000-04:00

I'm about to ramble on about the past week...ready?

The Sault Orleans benefit concert was a success and I would like to thank everyone involved for all of your contributions and hard work.

First and fore most, Mike Prentice for your vision and enthusiasm. Your heart is as big as...well ...you're a big fella, so it makes sense your heart is big too.

Adrian Vilaca for your ideas and being the go-to guy.

Craig West for managing and coordinating the musicians...you run one tight schedule...good job!

Curt O'Neil for the beautiful website and putting up with our constant pesky e-mails.

George Ravlich for the awesome sound production...and for only freaking out a little bit when your gear got wet!

Dan Nystedt for the fantastic multimedia presentation...I know it was more than a little hectic for a bit there, but you pulled it together beautifully!

Louisa Van Lith and the volunteers from the Red Cross for braving the storm and getting drenched for the cause.

Uncle Max and Mike's mom (sorry, didn't catch your name) for making one hell of a gumbo!

Sherie Gladu and "A Thymely Affair" for the amazing entrance way. And both Pat and Sherie for letting me use their studio to paint the sign, and for all your help doing so.

Allie Russon for all your running around and bead and balloon gathering...your Jack Russell is ALMOST as cute as mine...

Tracey Hilderly for doing a fantastic emcee job...and for being my partner in crying during the video presentation.

The girls from the "Pita Pit" for managing the gumbo sales.

The owners and staff of "Smack Daddy's" for providing the alcohol and contributing 50 cents per unit sold to the Red Cross.

Local Steel Workers Union 2251 for their Red Cross donation of $5000.00...wow!

A HUGE group hug for all the musicians that donated their time and talents for the cause; Brass Tax, Stifler's Mom, the Malcontents (way to give Mother Nature the finger, boys!), the Sault Swing Band, Lindsay Pugh (love that Dobro!), DJ Saige (it's just a little wet...it's still good, it's still good...), the Chris Belsito Band, Big Wheel and the Spokes (ya handsome devils!) and the Jay Scali Quattro. Those spectators who withstood the horrid weather conditions did so because of you.

To all of our sponsors, thank you. This event would not have happened without you.

To anyone else I have forgotten, my thanks and apologies...I tend to suffer brain farts now and again...

Being a part of this event made me happy.

For the rest of my week, I did a whole lot of not much. Friday night I ventured out to the Down Beat Lounge to see "Slow Nerve Action". This made me happy. But alas, the band was stranded west of Thunder Bay and could not make it. This made me VERY sad. But I managed to catch the "Inner City Surfers" at foggy Notions and this made me happy. Also went to the Greyhound season opener...happy! But we lost...sad.

Thursday and Saturday nights I worked at Lop Lops and made a bit of pocket money. This made me happy. But I had to work Sunday loan sharking...boo...sad.

Monday I spent a good portion of the day farting around on the computer...this always makes me happy. I am still unable to get my C.D. burner to work, however...much sadness...not to mention frustration and annoyance. Monday night, Krista and I played a mean game of scrabble. Not just any scrabble, but "Super Scrabble"...oh so happy! But I lost...bummer days.

So there it is...my bipolar week in a nut shell.

Oh...I almost forgot...less than two weeks 'til Social Distortion...happy, happy, HAPPY!!!

Unsafe Sex

2005-09-19T00:11:00.000-04:00

So, whilst engaging in blissful slug-like, channel surfing behaviour late Saturday night, I was about to head to bed but thought I'd give my dish one more look through to see if anything worth while was on. It was almost 4 in the a.m. I was doubtful.

And then I found it...."Kondom des Grauens" or "Killer Condom".

Any one who knows me knows I am a fanatic for b-grade flicks, so naturally I HAD to check this little gem out. I was laughing out loud to myself within the first 30 seconds.

OK--OK, check this out, yo. It's a German "film" set present day in New York City and the lead character is a short, fat, chain smoking tough cop named Luigi Macaroni. Oh, did I mention he was also gay? The "film" doesn't get really good until a condom bites off his right testicle while he attempted to get his groove on with a young little man-whore after dumping his REEEAAALLY ugly cross-dressing boyfriend, Bob...or Babette at the central location of most of the "film", the "Hotel Quickie".

Did you happen to retain the whole "biting condom" concept in the above bizaare synopsis? Yes, a killer condom...a ravenous rubber with huge fangs and an appetite for blood...and a cute little squeeky voice, much like the voice Ash's lopped off hand had in "Evil Dead II". Classic.

By the time I went to bed at 4:30, not only had the carniverous contraceptive appropriated one of poor Luigi's nads, it had also killed 13 other men by...well...I'm sure you can figure that out. I never made it to the end of the "film" to find out why/how/where this evil condom came from. My need for sleep was far too great. But thanks to the miracle of satellite T.V. and the "Drive-Inn" channel, I'm sure another viewing of this classic is not far off.

SAULTORLEANS

2005-09-12T22:59:00.000-04:00

As you may or may not be aware, a benefit has been organized to raise funds to aid those affected by Hurricane Katrina. The event, spear headed by Mike Prentice, will take place on Wednesday, September 21, 2005 at the Roberta Bondar Pavilion from 5 to 11pm.

There will be plenty of food, entertainment and chances for you to donate whatever you can to the Red Cross.

For full event details, please visit the "Sault Ste. Marie for Katrina Relief" website .

A challenged has been issued by our first sponsor, Herbal Magic, for other local businesses to sponsor the event. Answer the challenge and give generously.

Unbelievable....

2005-09-07T15:32:00.000-04:00

This is a direct quote from Barbara Bush as she, George senior and former president Bill Clinton visited the Houston Astrodome where many of the evacuees from Hurricane Katrina were housed...

"...so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this--this (she chuckles slightly) is working very well for them."

To read the full story, click the title of this post.

I Cried at Work Today

2005-09-06T21:41:00.000-04:00

As I looked images of the utter devastation left behind by Hurricane Katrina, I realized just how lucky I was. I've always said it but never really had it demonstrated so drastically....

These people have lost everything and the loss continues to mount as the toxic water burying New Orleans festers in the hot humid weather.... and Tropical Storm Nate and Hurricane Maria are heading in their direction....

The E-Coli infested water is now being pumped out of New Orleans into the Mississippi River or Lake Pontchartrain, inevitably resulting in ecological devastation that will continue for years to come....

...life in North America has changed forever...

It Serves Me Right, I Guess...

2005-09-02T21:14:00.000-04:00

When I posted the "White Trash" photo of Pat Gladu and I on my photo blog, I was thinking the three people who bother to look at the damn thing would be the only ones to see the opposite of flattering photo...I thought it would be funny...

...stupid me...

It turns out that two "friends" of mine conspired against me...two people I have never once slandered, snubbed or socially humiliated...two people I have only supported and been nice to...

Beth Boskovitch and Chris Belsito, be warned! I am getting quite good at photoshop and I have in my devilish little hands many photos of the both of you. Remember: Paybacks are a bitch and revenge is a dish best served cold...

To those who have no idea what I am talking about, click here. See what my wonderful "friends" did to me? But I suppose it does serve me right for (a) trusting Beth to take the photo and have it in her possession, (b) posing for the picture in the first place and (c) posting it on my photo blog.

That's one lesson learned. Now the two of them get to learn NEVER fuck with a scorpio...

UPDATED SEPT 3, 2005

So I just realized that I cannot link directly to the SooToday page with the incriminating photo. So just click on the link in the body of the post and select the heading "Be Brainwashed by Our Hot and Sexy 4-Day Arts and Entertainment Outlook"...I know you won't be laughing AT me but laughing WITH me, so go ahead...laugh...

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (a title by Stanley Kubrick for a story by Donna Hopper)

2005-09-01T18:05:00.000-04:00

I fancy myself a creative sort.

I am often found painfully hunched over a project,sculpting ...carving ...scribbling ...birthing my latest inspiration. This happens in cycles and I inevitably collapse with a tired brain, bleeding eyes and an overwhelming sense of immense satisfaction, gazing like a proud parent at my offspring. Thankfully this process almost never results in post-partum depression.

Following such an ordeal, a creative draught ensues. During this dry season, "The Simpsons" and "CSI" dim my wits...stunt my creative growth...dowse my artistic fire, causing the moths of inspiration to flit towards a brighter flame.

Wow...perhaps I should serve some crackers with that cheese...

Anyway, my most recent dry spell was longer than most. It began to worry me. Friends and fans of past work asked, "Donna, why don't you make jewellery/sculpt/draw/photograph/paint any more?" to which I never had a satisfactory response. I honestly didn't know.

Thinking back, I now understand it was the result of various accumulated frustrations. Lack of support, theft of my original ideas and disappointment at my own short comings are the big three. Embracing my lethargy, I became content to sit back and observe the artistic world from the side lines.

Not long ago, I was invited to partake in the embellishment of the wall surrounding the new arena construction site. Thinking it would be a prime photo session rather than an artistic work out, I agreed to make an appearance. This appearance created an obsession.

The first day of painting was fun, sweaty and productive. I managed to complete two "paint and brush" pieces and was quite pleased with their outcome. I also shot almost an entire roll of black and white.

The following day, I returned and began work on a third, somewhat uninspired piece. Thinking to myself,"Self, you can't make it look any worse. You might as well." I reached for a can of spray paint.

As I gently shook the can and listened to the little mixing ball inside chatter, a blast of anticipation swept through me. With a long "psssht", I had officially defaced my own work...and it was beautiful. A loud, maniacal giggle erupted from me and I was hooked.

As I looked at the swirling, misty line I had sprayed across the wall, the true potential of this taboo art form became evident. I spent the rest of the night spraying and giggling and shaking those chattering cans until darkness inhibited me and my hand cramped to the point of tears...tears both from pain and from the inability to continue the graffiti.

For the next three days, I completely forgot about my camera and worked through the hand cramps.

I have since ravenously devoured this new found love for graffiti and have been researching artists, designing my own "tag" and scoping out local spots I would love to "bomb".....that's right, I'm down with the lingo....I even have my own spray can trigger (thanks Beth) and two "Sharpie Magnums" for those finishing touches. I am armed and ready. You may someday soon see my name in the "Police Files" for my beautiful crimes, but it will all be in the name of art.

My migration to the art of bombing, now, seems only natural. I have, long ago, embraced the sub-culture surrounding this art form....skateboarding, punk rock, the need for self expression....and with my latest wake up call, I plan to hopefully remove the stigma inhibiting this urban form of expression.

Well, there it is. My story of how I learned to stop worrying and love the bomb. Change your perspective and look at graffiti as an art form rather than a crime and you, too, can love the bomb.

* This story was originally written for the September 2005 issue of Articulations. No, I did NOT paint the artwork which appears with this story. I do, however, hope to be this good someday.

My Apologies to Big Suit

2005-08-31T19:34:00.000-04:00

I am sending my apologies to the members of Big Suit for the addition of their website to my links...I know the link does not work, but I added it so a not so geeky computer geek can investigate the strange behaviour of the link between my blog and your site. It will be removed Friday in order to give him enough time to figure things out.

Thank you for your patience and sorry for offending anyone...

A Funny Thing Happened on My Way to The Resistance...

2005-08-30T20:58:00.000-04:00

So I had a crazy punk rock weekend...

It all started Saturday night at the Downbeat Lounge. The The Flatliners were playing. They are a young, loud ska-punk band and a lot of fun...I enjoyed them very much. Sweet young lads....they showered me with merch....

Sunday night, Rob, Beth and I ventured out to the Oddfellows Hall to see the punk show. First on the bill was the Sault's own "Soldiers of Misfortune". They did a punk version of "Hot For Teacher" and I love them because of it.

Next up was an out of town band called "The Resistance". While doing a google search for the bands website in order to include a link to it here, I came across some interesting sights....white power....Iraqi war stuff....WWII stuff...but the most interesting one was The Christmas Resistance Movement ....I says 'pardon?'.... their tag line is "End the compulsory Christmas gift-giving madness!"

While they plead and interesting case against the tradition of Christmas, citing consumer debt, corporate greed and excess waste, I still think these people may be one candle short of a menorah. Check out the crazy Russian propaganda style poster!

Needless to say, I never did find a website for the band "The Resistance" which is unfortunate....they were my favourite part of the evening....nasty Joan Jett-type female singer backed by Distilleresque punk rock. I highly recommend finding them if you can....very cool....

The abrasive thrash-metal-punk-whatever band "Protest the Hero" was the third act of the evening. Couldn't get into them so much...too heavy for my taste but good at what they do....I guess....

After a short toke and a munchie run to Dairy Queen, we got to hear Death By Stereo and I enjoyed them....louder and harder than I remembered, but I enjoyed them regardless....

So all in all, it was a fun evening. We all had a good time once we got past the fact that we were twice the age of 99.9% of the audience. Got to observe the local punk youth in their natural habitat....quite interesting, colourful and violent....I could write a thesis....

An Open Letter....

2005-08-30T12:36:00.000-04:00

This is an open letter to the individual who messed with my blog...

You see, I like to support my friends and a lot of my friends have bands and I like to link to their websites from my blog in order to show them that I support them and to give them extra exposure. Now, to make my blog permanently link to a picture of a squirrel with giant nads when I want to link to the "Big Suit" website is annoying, immature and NOT FUCKING COOL!! Grow the fuck up....

Just because you're a computer geek, living in your parents basement, popping zits and praying for the day you finally get laid, that's no excuse for hacking into other people's blogs...don't hate me because I have a life.

To everyone else....

The Big Suit website is up and running and looks really good. I would link to it here, but I can't...I would fix it but I don't know how 'cuz I'm not a computer geek and I have a life... so here is the address....www.bigsuit.ca....go check it out. Nice job, Brian.

I know it's not even September yet, but October is gonna be great!

2005-08-27T18:43:00.000-04:00

I'm excited for October and here's why;

1. October 29 is my birthday....no presents please....money will be fine, thank you...

2. I'm taking a road trip with Beth and Dan on which we will see Cuff the Duke in Sudbury at the Townehouse and then see....are you ready?....SOCIAL DISTORTION!!! again in Toronto at the Kool Haus. I'm VERY excited! I know I just saw Social D. not too long ago, but I can't wait to see them again....

3. Another road trip will be happening at the end of October on which a large group of us will be going to see U2 in Aubern Hills, MI. VERY cool....

4. Halloween is my favourite holiday and it so happens to be in October.

I love October....

Super Fun Guy Has a Blog

2005-08-20T23:10:00.000-04:00

The ultimate source of ham from Buskerfest 2005 has a blog...I repeat, the Cow Guy has a blog...link to it by clicking
here, or go to the "Brainwave Overload" link under the "Blogs, Rants and Stuff" heading.

It's a fun blog with interesting busker tales, a photo of Schwing Action, a letter written to alcohol and a shout out to...ME!! He even published my review of his performance in the Soo. My lawyers will be in contact soon, Brian, but don't let one little law suit get between friends, K?

My Friends are Freaks...

2005-08-19T16:54:00.000-04:00

I hang out with some interesting characters. They say a lot of strange things. They need to be documented.

You will notice under "Slackhopper's Stuff and Things" I have added the "Quote of the Week". If you see me suddenly laugh, pull out a pen and paper from my purse and start to write furiously, you'll know why.

Be warned....

Bouncing Native Cow Greets the Home Boy

2005-08-15T02:04:00.000-04:00

I was honoured at the thought of Olympic athletes being in our fair city and I had sky high expectations of Spring Action. The champion trampoline troup, coached by Heather McManus who represented Canada at the 2004 Olympics, delivered stellar performances to very loud and awestruck audiences through out the weekend.

Sean McManus played the bumbling, idiot clown as he executed some the most impressive stunts I have ever seen. The incredible shape he must be in to not actually hurt himself as he flips and flails on and off of the trampoline is almost incomprehensable. I found myself holding my breath for most of the show. They were definitely the big crowd pleaser of Buskerfest 2005.

With the lack of a website, I had no idea what to expect from Ash and Ruben Fasthorse. The only information I had was they were native and they danced....that was it. After seeing their first show, I was pleasently surprized.

Ruben is a very funny fellow who warms up the crowd joking about modern natives and political correctness. With quick head-dress and costume changes,he juggles, dances and sings to his wife, Ash. Then Ash performs some beautiful dances as she spins poi (sp?); vibrant flowing fabric during the day, and fire at night.

The highlight for me is the crazy hoop dance that Ruben does, the name of which I have forgotten. It is beautiful, entertaining and requires a great deal of balance, endurance and skill. Out of breath, he jokes at the end of the dance, "Try doing that at 34 years old." I don't think I could do it at 14 years old.

Multi-talented, super fun guy, Brian Wilson (AKA the Cow Guy) was our second repeat peformer at Buskerfest 2005. This time he arrived sans partner and still managed to have the impact of two performers.

Utilizing the skills he acquired through professional clown and circus training, he juggles, balances, spins, manipulates fire, jokes, makes balloon creations, plays with yo-yos, lassoo's young children and entertains like no other. He even poses for the camera at just the right moments...and he's just a really nice dude.

But I think his underwear is the real star of the Cow Guy show....if you caught his performance, you know what I am talking about.

Aside from what some in the community may think, Buskerfest does support our local talent. This year the Sault's supreme illusionist, Ryan McFarling, had the opportunity to demonstrate his freaky slight-of-hand skills.

During his Friday night performance in which he did a "Penn and Teller" type "this is how all magic is done" walk-through of a trick, he turned it around and tricked us anyway...a master of re-direction, he is. This kid is gonna go places.

Well, there it is....my performer reviews for Buskerfest 2005. Now, you may be thinking, "She HAS to say good things about everyone because she was one of the organizers." While that may be true, I truly did thoroughly enjoy every performance at this year's festival. And I am pleased as punch that I could be a part of bring such world-class entertainment to Sault Ste. Marie. I plan on doing it all again next year.

A Man with Hats, A Slack Rope (not the Rob Slack kind) and Some Junk

2005-08-09T01:03:00.000-04:00

So I may or may not have mentioned to all of you, but Buskerfest was this past weekend.......and it was AWESOME!!!........and the fact that at this moment I feel as though I've been training for a marathon, does not deminish my over all feeling of accomplishment and glee at a job well done. The 2005 festival was, without a doubt, a smashing success.

This blog entry will highlight the talents and antics of three of our seven ubber talented performers.

Dan the One Man Band, a crowd favourite from Buskerfest 2004, returned to once again share his charm, slightly bent humour, amazing music and a couple of shots of "Janis".

As a big supporter of original music, I was happy to see Dan perform some of his own material this year...I bought his C.D....and a t-shirt.....and the crowd loved it as well. He signed some autographs, sang some Britney Spears, recited a portion of "Shrek" and had kids (and one crazed fan) in tow during every performance.

I would love to break the Busker Festival unwritten rule and have Dan back for our third year. The crowds love him, the Buskerfest organizers love him, he has a lot of funky hats and he made no children cry.

A velvet-voiced camel and a lap-dancing temptress were Mr. Bunk's travelling companions during his first appearance in Sault Ste. Marie. When I met him at the airport, his first question to me was, "So what's the big industry in Sault Ste. Marie?" to which I responded, "Drinking" much to the dismay of a certain Buskerfest Committee member....oh well....

The first half of Mr. Bunk's show is completely silent, during which he pranks on unsuspecting audience members with water pistols, lolly pops (he's a genius with a lolly pop) and maybe a mouse trap or two.....an hillarious example of improv at its best.

With a change of his shirt, he finds his voice and thus begins the audience participation portion of the Mr. Bunk show. Offering a variety of dance lessons, the chance to showcase limbo abilities and the opportunity to be a part of the sexiest lap dance-card trick combo I have ever witnessed, his show demands attention.

The audience is then privy to an amazing display of Mr. Bunks stunt-comedy genius as he fumbles and bumbles his way onto the slack rope to take a stroll and juggle some fire....an awesome show full of variety, laughs and the unexpected....and he....well...he did make one child cry.....damn lolly pops.....

The second musical act of Buskerfest 2005, Junkyard Symphony are captivating in more ways than one. Every female within sight of the stage is immediately entranced by their dashing good looks and infectious drum grooves created on kits made entirely out of recycled materials. They even come supplied with their own "applause" sign....an old "Cheer" laundry detergent box....brilliant.

Trashcan Tony and Junkyard Jonny start the show by demonstrating their percussion skills as they play junk together. A short pause is taken to educate the audience about the hand signals that will be used during their performance so that spectators may participate with out verbal instruction....and the drumming continues.

Tony beats a constant rythum as Jonny (with some help from the audience) performs a series of balancing stunts, tricks, dancing, juggling and the chugging of some strange pink liquid. I later found out it is a combination of water and fruit juice.

They are talented, earth-friendly, handsome, funny and they drive a crazy "Scooby-Doo Mystery Machine" like van. Junkyard Symphony made no children cry....maybe a few ladies, though.....

Stay tuned, folks, for my continuing coverage of Buskerfest 2005. Four more acts will be profiled as well as some behind the scenes stories and out takes......

My "Freaks" Reference...

2005-08-02T22:11:00.000-04:00

"Gooble-gobble-gooble-gobble, one of us...one of us..."

Yes, anyone who has seen Tod Brownings 1932 horror classic, "Freaks" will either laugh uncontrollably or shiver with the heebie-jeebies at hearing the haunting phrase.

For those of you who did not understand the title of my previous post, this is it's origin, chanted as the evil-temptress-villain-slut gets her just desserts.

Whether or not you are a fan of b-grade films, this movie is a must see just for all the authentic, truly unbelievable, honest to goodness, real freaks in the film. Ever seen a man with no arms and no legs light a cigarette? I have.......it's cool.......

Just trust me and see the damn movie...

Gooble, Gobble, One of us, One of us...

2005-08-02T09:29:00.000-04:00

It is my pleasure to announce Robert Slack has joined the land of Blog. You may visit his site by clicking the link to the right of the page. It's called "Flinging Pooh"... don't ask me...he's gone a little soft in the brain the past few years...I had nothing to do with it, I swear!

Photo Blog Launched

2005-08-01T21:40:00.000-04:00

Well, my pretties... I have started my photo Blog, to which you may find a link to just under my profile... be patient... there is only one picture there as of yet, but rest assured, more are to come soon... I have a whole stock pile of fun pix to show the world...

This may just give me the kick in the butt I needed to go out and buy a digital camera... but SLR is so much fun! I'll just have to go to Craig's house and use his scanner...?...right, bro?

The Hot Topic

2005-07-26T01:01:00.000-04:00

Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum was John Stewart tonight discussing his book "It's About the Family". As the title suggests, the book is about same-sex marriage and traditional family values...a topic I feel very strongly about. I do not share the Senators opinion and neither does John Stewart. But the two played nice and both delivered intelligent arguements, so I have no choice but to respect the Senator.

John Stewart raised an interesting point about traditional marriage. The marriage of today is usually, or better yet, IDEALLY a union of a man and a woman who are in love for the purpose of raising virtuous, moral children in a wholesome family environment. But as history has proven time and time again, the IDEAL anything is difficult and short lasting. The ideal marriage up until about 150 years ago was about the acquisition of wealth and property, and children were just an extension or an expression of said wealth. Sons were deemed of higher value, while daughters had to be accompanied by livestock or property to been seen as suitable for marriage. This ideal changed (thank you) as most ideals do.

The part about the debate of same-sex marriage that makes me laugh (but not in a funny way) is this, and I beg you to bear with me because sometimes I have a hard time explaining myself, so this may not make much sense....

Those against same-sex marriage claim it is unchristian and harmful to society as a whole because it undermines the traditional definition of family. By granting homosexual couples the freedom to marry, they feel they are GIVING UP something. But it would be more an act of altruism (the unselfish concern for the welfare of others), probably the most christian thing one can do. Unfortunately, humans by their very nature are greedy and self serving, no matter how "christian" they claim to be.

"But won't someone please think of the children!" is the cry from the Christians. I have and you know what? Most children I knew growing up would have been better off in any family other than the one they had, same-sex or not. A so called "traditional" marriage is not a guarantee of a nurturing, ideal childhood. For me, homosexuals raising children is such a non-issue, it's laughable. If an individual of same-sex orientation can save the lives of those in a car wreck, then by God they're more than able to raise a child! More able than me, that's for sure.

In my opinion, same-sex marriage is a benefit to society, creating higher self esteem and self worth for a very large portion of the population, thus creating a more productive and happier society as a whole with less conflict and strife.

Thank God we live in Canada and this has already been made law. But there are those in our community who like to revert us back to the stone age...don't worry...I have my eye on them...they won't get far if I have anything to do about it...

I could be just talking out my ass right now and I do believe I am starting to ramble, but that was my two cents. This issue deserves at least four cents so please feel free to input.

Feedback

2005-07-25T13:26:00.000-04:00

Well...what does everyone think of the new and improved Slackhopper Blog?

As you can see, I have added a multitude of interesting links, organized into catagories, to keep everyone busy and entertained. Please let me know if there are any of your favourite sites, blogs, stuff and things you think I should add and I will make it so.

There are more changes to come although the over all look will remain the same. Hopefully within the next couple of days, I will have my photo blog up and running and linked to this one. Check back soon and thanks for visiting...

UNDER CONSTRUCTION

2005-07-21T01:32:00.000-04:00

hello...

I am currently in the process of renovating my blog, trying to make it easier to blog from home. Plus the other template was getting too busy for me. Besides, this one so happens to be my favourite colour. I promise that once the changes are made I will blog more often, so please excuse my dust and bear with me...or better yet, be bare with me...teehee...

A Photo of Me And Matt Good (....I'm the one on the right....)

2005-07-17T22:56:00.000-04:00

Where is Everybody?

2005-07-02T18:39:00.000-04:00

Last night I had the pleasure to witness, yet another fantastic out of town original musical experience. But where the hell was everybody? The small but appreciative crowd that came out to the Downbeat Lounge to hear Slow Nerve Action danced, laughed and demanded an encore. With a song about "chewin' vagina", how could we not have a good time? It was a performance not to be missed...but it was by many.

The Downbeat Lounge not only supports our local musical heros with regular performances by Chris Belsito, Startlefish and The Inner City Surfers, but is also a great source for up-and-coming national talent. Some of the more notables being; Cuff the Duke, Rae Spoon, Joel Plaskett, the Agriculture Club, Bocephus King , Blue Quarter, Bedouin Sound Clash, New Shady Groove , Mr. Something Something , Novillero, Lindy , the Swiftys, the Wheat Monkeys and the Ultimate Power Duo ...just to name a few...

But it is cause for intense head scratching whilst listening to inspired original music in a half empty bar. I don't get it. Is it lack of advertising? Is it lack of interest? Are the locals just not cool?

It is a pattern for this city I have noticed during my extensive drinking and live music listening career. Chancy's, Zak's, Club Princess, Foggy Notions, Lop Lops...the unfortunate absence of support is everywhere.

Last week during the awe-inspiring performance of Moses Mayes, Trevor turned to me and asked, "Is this all the cool people in the city?" referring to the modest audience. I guess out of a population of 65 000, there are only about 40 cool people in Sault Ste. Marie. I am thankful that most of them are my friends.

I am also thankful that Trevor and Amanda continue to bring in world class entertainment for my listening pleasure. I hope they do not get discouraged. The multitude of out of town acts have vastly expanded my C.D. and t-shirt collections, as well as my music appreciation.

Thanks guys. Keep it up.

This Ain't No Motley Crue Show, Honey...The Final Chapter

2005-06-12T18:05:00.000-04:00

Following the frantic purchase of 5 shirts at the merch booth (mine being a Black Kat Kustoms white wife-beater, of course), we headed out back to hang by the Social D. tour bus. The crowd there was small but enthusiastic. Booby girl was there, flashing her tits to anyone who asked...and at the tour bus...she REALLY wanted on that bus. I was chatting and sharing my Canadian cigarettes with a very nice girl, whose name I neglected to get. We were having fun but we all wanted to meet Mike Ness in a bad way.

Beth just wanted a souvenir from the show...a t-shirt just wasn't good enough, I guess. Her brilliant idea was to appropriate the license plate from the tour bus...go for it, baby...I'll be your look out. I had faith in her and her multi-tool...but alas, the multi-tool was one tool short and she gave up.

Rejoining the rest of the gang empty handed, I began talking with Alyssha, AKA booby girl. Her boyfriend is the most patient man on the planet...that's all I'll say.

Trevor disappeared behind the bus after taking Beth's mult-tool, but also returned empty handed...oh well. Shaking his head, the always reasonable Rob told us "You don't steal the license plate from a band that you like! That just screws them over." Good point...never thought about the possible consequences...ooops.

Okay...I'd waited long enough. I wanted to meet Mike Ness NOW! Just as I was about to flash MY boobies at the bus, a security dude came out and asked that we all extinguish our cigarettes...Mr. Ness was not coming out if we were smoking. WHAMMO...about 20 cigarettes hit the pavement and we held our breath...

All attention was on Mike Ness as he emerged from the bus. Inconspicuous was Johnny Two Bags who was wandering around the crowd. Beth was chatting with him, not realizing who he was...he even gave her a Baby Ruth chocolate bar after she mentioned she was hungry. Alyssha took notice of this and was a bit jealous, I think. Slinking over to them she said to Johnny, "I like candy. I like Tootsie Rolls" as she inserted her index finger into her mouth, rather suggestively, and sucked on it whilst removing it. BOY she wanted on that bus BAD! The classic response from Johnny Tow Bags was, "This ain't no Motley Crue show, honey." DEE-NIED!! It's good to know that a nice set of tits doesn't always get you what you want...

Joining Beth and Johnny, I got his autograph as Beth told me the tale of the chocolate bar and booby girl...we laughed.

Rob had the whole band sign his ticket. Trev was next in line to get Mike Ness' autograph. Handing him a pink girlie T, Trev felt the need to confirm his masculinity, and stated, "This is for my girl". Mike looked up at him with a thats-pretty-obvious-dude grin on his face...it was amusing.

I was next. I was nervous. It was Mike Freakin' Ness! Rob gave me a shove and there I was standing next to him. I looked down...WOW!...I had no idea he was short...his stage presence is so dynamic and huge. I proceeded to make a jack ass out of myself. "I have so many other peoples sweat all over me because of you and it's so cool!" is what I said to him. I became one of my own pet peeves...fans that say stupid things to their idols...IDIOT!

He looked up at me with this "Okay, what ever lady" look on his face and signed my shirt. Yep, I made quite the impression...drunk, smelly, babbling like an idiot wearing a mangled cowboy hat. I kinda wished I was booby girl at that point.

But the stupidity didn't stop there. The first thing I did after he signed my shirt was light a cigarette. I'm such a fucking moron! Grabbing me by the arm, Rob quickly pulled me away, reminding me about the whole smoking thing...SHIT!...I put it out.

Satisfied with our spoils, we decided to find a bar, have some beverages and discuss the show. Passing the bus, we noticed the license plate was gone...interesting...probably removed by security so idiots like us wouldn't steal it...ooops again.

Trev and Beth had to pee. Trev peed in a ditch. Beth couldn't do it. We went to the strip joint, but were not willing to pay $5.00 each to get in. Beth still had to pee. A peeler took Beth by the hand and took her to the bathroom...what a nice stripper lady.

Our only other adult beverage option was a pool hall that said "Casino" on their sign...but it wasn't a casino. Rob knew it wasn't a casino, but how, we're not sure...not that we wanted to gamble or anything, but the sign said "Casino". How did he know it wasn't a casino? It was perplexing and we obsessed on the whole casino thing until we got inside and realized, indeed, it was a pool hall and not a casino...very odd.

We took our places at the bar, ordered a jug of Blue and discussed the show. We all came to the same conclusion...it was AWESOME! We talked with the bartender for a bit, he ordered pizza for us and we headed back to the hotel.

In the room, we scarffed down the pizza, drank more beer and watched "Saturday Night Live". I took some goofy pictures and we crashed out around 1:00am...well, most of us crashed.

Trev snores REALLY loud. I snore pretty loud, but only when I've been drinking. Beth's snore is more like a purr. That left Rob wide awake for most of the night.

In the morning, I opened my eyes to see Trev trying to snuggle with Rob. It was too cute...I took a picture. Rob woke up cranky.

Beth reported over hearing Rob mutter under the snores, "Jesus Christ, just let me sleep." He said at one point during the night, he tried to sleep on the floor by the door...he even thought about getting his own room. Poor guy...I'm so sorry, honey.

We gathered our stuff and checked out hung over. Off to Denny's for breakfast...a very expensive breakfast but at least the juice wasn't served in a shot glass....mmmmm, hydration....

We were on the road back to the Sault by noon.

The ride home was fun, listening to Mike Ness and Social Distortion all the way. Beth and I slept a good portion of the way in the back seat...we felt safer back there, unable to see our near-deaths.

We stopped in Petoskey for a bit to look around and have lunch, which proved difficult. It seem s every restaurant in town is closed Sundays...every place Beth recommended was closed. We ended up at a coffee shop called the "Roast and Toast"...very cool place and I highly suggest you try it while visiting Petoskey.

After a short customs search at the Sault boarder, we arrived home by 6:00.

It was one hell of a show, not to be soon forgotten. I can't wait to see them again...

This Ain't No Motley Crue Show, Honey...Part II (Licked by an Elephant)

2005-06-03T21:14:00.000-04:00

This is what Mike Ness may have looked like in my pictures...FUCK!!!...okay...I'm over it now. Not really, but I'll pretend that I am...for your sake...

We missed the first act, The Eyeliners, an all girl punk band signed to Joan Jett's label, Blackheart Record Group. Apparently they're quite good, so here is their website for your listening and viewing enjoyment.

The next act, whose name escapes me, was very hardcore, very loud and pretty damn good...way better than "Johnny Petoskey"...buncha angry young men...Beth described the lead singer as a combination of Jack White and Craig West...hmmmm...interesting...long lost brother perhaps?

They left the stage and I was happy...happy because it was almost Mike Ness time...intermission music played...the Clash, the Ramones and a SMOKIN' version of "Black Betty" I ended up tracking down through "Lime Wire"...a band called "Spiderbait"...very cool...

Link Wray's Rumble cut through the smoke and called everyone to the stage, making us aware that something intense was about to happen. Rob disappeared into the crowd to secure his spot in front of the stage. Trev hung back to guard drinks and stay out of the way. Beth held my purse in her bigger purse. The Band took the stage and my nipples got hard.

He spoke...

"Awfully fucking early for a rock and roll show, isn't it?" It was about 7:30 at this point. "Let's get this Motherfucker started!" I was pleased to see he was on stage sans eyeliner...time to ditch the cosmetics, Mike, you've out grown them...

They were about one verse into the opening song, "Mommy's Little Monster", when I was overcome by a sudden urge to dive into the mosh pit. After all, Mike Ness could not spot me, fall in love and insist I fly away with him if I was hiding at the back of the room, now could he...I went for it.

Pushing and prying my way through mass of writhing, sweaty, smelly people was more fun than I anticipated. I spotted my opportunities and took them quickly. I would hover over some little girly girl, knowing she would not be able to last too long...sure enough, she would eventually look up at her boyfriend, terrified, and they would leave, letting me slip right in...the fact that I was pushing extra hard and being extra rough to these girls had nothing to do with it...

I was paid back...lost my hat a couple of times...had to sacrifice my image to save the hat by securing the chin strap...yep, I looked like a fucking dork, but I knew Mike wouldn't mind...got kicked in the head I don't know how many times...almost lost my glasses a few times...lots of elbows in the ribs...my feet were not touching the ground for a while, and when they were, they got crushed...IT WAS SO MUCH FUCKING FUN!!!! Even Beth could not resist the call of the pit, and ventured in for the last half of the show.

Mid-way through the show, Mike brought an adorable little girl onto the stage...the same little girl Trev had on his shoulders for a while. He delivered a speech about how much he appreciates all the "old timers" who have supported him these past 20 odd years. All the young guys around Rob turned and looked at him...sorry, dude...then Mike went on to say how important it was to teach the young ones not to make the same mistakes we did, following which they played "Prison Bound"...fitting...and the highlight of the show for Rob.

My highlight was "Story of My Life" and I danced as much as one could dance in such close quarters.

The highlight of the show for the band was when some...I think the term "broad" best describes her...got up on her boyfriend's shoulders, pulled down her red and white striped tube top and flashed her boobs to Mike Ness. "Wow. Wasn't expecting that. I've lost my train of thought." said Mr. Ness. I can understand why...those breasts were real and quite impressive...she should be proud. There is more about boobie girl to come later.

"I better hear all you Motherfuckers singing to this one!" was Mike's order to the crowd as they played Ring of Fire ...we complied and the crowd surfers were exceptionally busy, as well as security...it was one hell of a fucking rib crushing, ear bleeding, breath taking, sweat inducing, painful but fun, goddamn fucking awesome show!

I felt like I had been licked by an elephant when I emerged from the pit....