A Poet's Life

I love punk rock. I love almost everything to do with punk rock. I love (not in a batting of the eye lashes and sighing "I'm gonna marry him someday" kind of love, but a "Holy shit that dude fucking rocks ass!" kind of love) Tim Armstrong and Rancid and had the honour of meeting him, Lars and Matt last December.

I hugged Lars, kissed Matt and talked and gushed Tim's ear off, I'm sure. It was quite thrilling indeed.

Tim was very sweet and expressed shock when I told him we drove 8 hours (twice) to see them perform. I'd do it again in a heart beat.

Tim's album A Poet's Life is officially released today and I couldn't be happier. It is available for download on Rancid's MySpace page along with a shit load of videos.

Check this out..



Kick ass, indeed. He's the coolest.

Yikes!

Not sure how I feel about this. At first I thought it was really cute and after viewing it again, it totally freaked me the hell out!

What are your thoughts?

Thank You, Alanis...

I have a new found respect for Alanis Morrisette....

I have found possibly the biggest moron on the net...

...or rather, "it" found me.

Quite some time ago, I posted a video I had made in iMovie just as a little experiment on You Tube. It is a photo slide show of the USA Break Dancers' Julio performing his 'Re-Run' dance. It's not the greatest thing on the net, but the pics are fun and I posted it because...well...I'm not actually sure why.

It has received a few comments. Most people don't like it and I have been called an asshole because of it.

...geez, you'd think I skinned live puppies or something...

GET A LIFE PEOPLE!! It's just a harmless, stupid slide show. It's not racist. It's not pornographic. It's not degrading to women. It doesn't even contain any nasty curse words. Just pics of a funny dude dancing. That's all.

Being called an asshole and having people not like the video are not the reasons for this post. They're entitled to their opinions and if their comments bothered me so much, I could remove them. But I don't.

This post is a salute to the biggest moron to utilize this crazy internet thingy. His name (I assume it is a 'he'...not really sure...) sparkyfoley.

Ol' Spary-boy sent me a message via You Tube yesterday. Apparently my video was extremely offensive to him and he could not resist letting me know in this oh-so eloquent manner...

From: sparkyfoley [videos (0) | favorites (0) | friends (0)]

Sent: February 28, 2007
Subject: clips????
Message:
this video is doooooo doo.........i come to see the dance and get fucking clips..........glad your a pussy and disabled comments....but youll be hearing from me asshole..........

I'll be hearing from him?! Was I just internet-geek threatened? Is my slide show SOOOO offensive that it is just cause for a personal vendetta? Sparky ain't right in the head.

Well, allow me to retort...and Sparky, if you're reading this, 'retort' means 'reply' or 'respond'...

To: sparkyfoley [videos (0) | favorites (0) | friends (0)]

Sent: March 01, 2007
Read: March 01, 2007
Subject: Re: clips????
Message:
thank you for your oh so eloquent message...don't like it?...don't watch it. I didn't post it for you.

and comments are not disabled, FYI. go ahead and comment, asshole, if you feel SOOOO strongly that it would make the world a better place.

and it is a photo slideshow, not video clips.

excuse me, but aren't there worse things out there to be pissed off about besides me experimenting with iMovie?

You see, it's dudes like Ol' Sparky here that fill the internet with garbage and shit and hate and anger. He's the type of guy who is offended by my harmless, simple little dance video, but would laugh his ass off at the videos of the soldiers in Iraq taunting the children with bottles of water or throwing rocks at the helpless, injured dog with the missing leg.

Now that I think about it, he'd be one of the soldiers doing those disgusting things.

I think my message pissed him off a bit which did nothing for his grasp of the English language...

From: sparkyfoley [videos (0) | favorites (0) | friends (0)]

Sent: March 01, 2007
Subject: Re: Re: clips????
Message:
i know that comments are disable...but FYI fuckstain....ill just send you messages on here......also your mother sucks a mean cock...just like your photo slideshow.....you fucking tool.....sorry you got so offensive when someone tells you how bad your shit is....well your not gonna make through life there boy...so you should just go and off yourself now.....that way A i dont get to hear your bantering and B i dont have to watch your waste of time terrible videos.........did i tell you to go fuck yourself?????

Now I apparently should take my own life because of my video. Wow. I had no idea it was so powerful. He's right though. It may just cause World War III it's so bad. I'm a threat to the future of the human race. I need to be stopped.

*...hey Sparky...I realize you're a little slow so I'll let you in on a little secret...don't tell anybody but those last comments were sarcasm....ssshhhhhh...*

Needless to say, I informed Rob about my new found best friend and let him read our correspondence. He replied to Sparky on my behalf...

To: sparkyfoley [videos (0) | favorites (0) | friends (0)]

Sent: March 01, 2007
Read: March 01, 2007
Subject: Re: Re: Re: clips????
Message:
Hey. Cocksmoker. Buy a fucking copy of Hooked on Phonics. Goddamn. Please tell me English is your second language or you are in grade 3, please. Fuck, buddy, please go back to school and learn, learn, learn. Fill your little brain with something other than online porn and video game cheat codes. Get a life, get out of your parents' basement, take a fucking bath and get a much needed blow job. Sparky, my friend, please, please, please meet a girl or a guy or a donkey and stop being a YouTube comment loser. Jesus loves you, buddy.

Yea. I think Rob was a little mad.

This sent Sparky into a rant containing some of the funniest insults I have ever heard...partially due to his lack of spelling and grammar skills...

From: sparkyfoley [videos (0) | favorites (0) | friends (0)]

Sent: March 01, 2007
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: clips????
Message:
listen you little bitch........thats funny...you almost tried there......just because your video was donkey cheeks its ok...you have to try to make fun of someone....try......its ok.......well ill ghet that blow job when i see those sweet sweet cocksuckers of your mothers...mmmmmmm mmmmmmm can she suck a cock...like a golf ball through a garden hose....am i going to fast for you you fucking cerabal palsy having window licker???? i will in fact continue to talk shit on you and you alone.....its funny to see you get all worked up there sally.......oh and you can go fuck jesus too

I think my favourite part is 'cerabal palsy having window licker'...every time I read that, it cracks me the hell up.

I am done communicating with Sparky. I was actually going to block him from my YouTube account, but I am interested in seeing his next comments. Sparky makes me laugh.

I checked out his YouTube account and found nothing. Really. Nothing. He has no videos, no favourites, no friends (big shock), no groups...no nothin'. His sole purpose in life is to browse the net and toss poorly worded insults and misspelled gibber-gabber at people. In fact, on his profile all it says is, and I quote: "If i dont like your shit youll be the fist to know".

I encourage all of you to visit sparkyfoley and send him a message. Let him know what you think of his shit. Here is the link to his profile...

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=sparkyfoley

There. I am done. I will waste no more time on this waste of skin. But I do eagerly await his next message. We could all use a good laugh now and then, right?

Toronto July 22, 2007

My dreams have come true!!

I'm going to see the Police if it kills me.

Patti Goodwin put it best when she said, "Are you kidding? Of course I'm in! They're the fist band I ever gave a shit about."

Mr. Bon Soo...not a music fan, apparently

Well, as it is now late Sunday night (or early Monday morning, depending on how you wanna look at it), Bon Soo is now officially said and done with.

I am ashamed (not really) to say the first, last and only event I actually made it to was the Battle of the Bands that took place at the Holiday Inn Friday night. And even had I not been covering it for SooToday.com, I still would have gone. In case you didn't know, I am a HUGE live music fan and try to get to any and every show possible.

Unless I'm sleeping. I do that a lot.

Shaddap. I'm old.

Three bands took part in said Band Battle; Sailor's Tongue (blues/rock young guys headed by Kyle McKey who you may have seen around town performing with Jay Scali), the Blackberries (old-school rock and/or roll with the infamous and unnaurally skinny Norm Rosteck at the mic) and the Crossed (uber-talented emo/progressive/rock/metal group still in high school fronted by the energetic and quite cute Jordan Flesher).

The Crossed took it, hands down.

This is just a smidgen of the energy these young lads have. I was happy such a young gang 'o fellas who perform in a not-so-popular genre were validated by beating out a couple of what this city normally deems as the creme de la creme.

This is not to say that the others are not talented or did not deserve to win, but the Crossed went above and beyond. Maybe a few of our local celebrities are getting a bit comfortable and, in turn, lazy. The Crossed worked damn hard on stage that night and I'm happy for them.

And making everyone sound awesome that night was none other than George Ravlich and Crank Sound Distribution. This is the hand of George. Say 'hi' hand.

I was disapointed that Mr. Bon Soo did not make an appearance. I guess he just does not feel the same affection for our local talent that I do. He'd rather disrupt the work day at Cross Country or stare like a pervert at all the local loonies that feel the need to plunge into the frosty St. Mary's River.

Oh well.

Following the Battle of the Bands, I headed to Foggy Notions for a beverage of the adult sort. Stiffler's Mom was playing. It had been quite some time since I had seen them. As I entered the bar, they sarted into what my opinion is one of the greatest rock and roll songs ever written, AC/DC's A Whole Lotta Rosie.

That was it for me. I didn't care if they did nothing but fart into the mic for the rest of the night, although that would have been HILARIOUS. Rosie always makes me very, very, VERY happy.

Still with camera in hand, I took a lesson from Canadian Mark and took a table-top-in-a-bar shot and ended up with this fun image...

...too bad I hate Coors Light...a beer for people who don't like the taste of beer but want to appear cool by drinking a beer and not soda water like they really want...

I gave the notion of going to photograph the Polar Bear Swim some thought...a small, tiny, brief, flashing thought...but opted instead to go for brunch at Shannon and Maria's. This has become a Sunday tradition ever since the Downbeat closed and is quickly becoming my favourite part of the week. Not only do I get to chow on some yummy grub, but it's always a good source of laughs and photo ops.

This is Dan sitting in front of some of Shannon's graffiti.

This is Shannon eating an apple in front of some of Shannon's graffiti.

And this is Dan's dog, Nico, and Shannon's dog, Maverick, looking more evil and scarey than enything I have ever seen. They were only playing, honest. By the time Dan and Nico left, Maverick was completely exhausted and covered in doggie spit...eewwwww gross...

"So get out and enjoy Bon Soo..."

Nah. I'd rather sleep and drink and eat and referee a dog fight, thank you very much.

My Nipples Are Hard

Is anyone else as excited as I am about this?

Yes, the Police performed at the 49th Grammy Awards.

Yes, they did a killer Roxanne.

Yes, they looked and sounded amazing, even Andy Summers who is now 64 years old.

Yes, they all held hands and took a bow (or two) after their performance.

No, Stewart Copeland did not punch Sting in the head, nor did he look like he wanted to.

Rob and I have already decided that if a tour is in order for the Police, we will do whatever it takes to see it including taking out a loan from the bank to procure tickets and get to any and all destinations that are even remotely feasible.

The only thing better would be bringing Curt Cobain back from the dead and reuniting Nirvana...or resurrecting Elvis (sorry, he REALLY is dead)...or Johnny Cash...or the Beatles...

OK. There are a lot of cool things I would like to happen, but they won't. This could actually take place.

Dear sweet Jebus, make this happen!

Mother Nature flips Mr. Bon Soo the bird

So there you have it. Bon Soo begins and everything goes to hell in a hand basket. It was even declared a snow day today by my boss, so I went home early from work.

I decided to do something I have not done in ages...take pictures just for the hell of it despite our current deep freeze. I did not engage in Canadian Mark's signature "walk about"...it was more of a "drive about". I may be a bit crazy but I'm not stupid! Did you look outside today? Sheesh! I'm sorry I bitched about having a green Christmas.

I finally made it to the Art Gallery to view the Bon Soo Juried Art Show. Nice job CO. I love the large matte you went with. Your photographs definitely stand out.



...these were taken in the parking lot of the Art Gallery...note the barely visible car in the second photograph...I had to wade knee deep in snow to get to the Gallery...Michael Burch was just on his way out the door to shovel when I arrived...

...and this is me being all stealthy-like inside the Gallery...they don't like it when you take pictures inside without permission...that's Curt's photo behind my head, just in case you doubted my visit...

Riddle me this...

How does a most excellent photo of Domino get turned down for the art show, but a cheesy painting of Motley Crue gets accepted? Not that I have anything against Motley Crue. In fact, I'm listening to them right now. But this is an art show.

I don't get it...

Anyway, I had full intentions of heading off to the Winter Playground today, but parking was a pain...by pain, I mean far away and would entail me walking in the blizzard...and I wanted to avoid being outside as much as possible.

...it cleared just long enough for me to get this shot and follow the directions to the Pine Street Marina to park for the Playground...


...I got out of the car long enough to snap a couple of pictures and then thought better of venturing to the Playground...screw that crap!!...in the 2 minutes I was outside, my extremities became so cold it burned...I felt like Rick Mercer when he paid a visit to Professor Popcicle or Dr. Icecube or whatever his name is...ya know, the guy who experiments with hypothermia...that guy...

I'm not affraid to admit that most of the pictures I took today were taken in the toastiness of my motor vehicle.

As for Bon Soo, I can only imagine that any outdoor events planned for today have either been cancelled, rescheduled or moved indoors. There is one event I will definitely be at, however. The Battle of the Bands is Friday evening. I can't wait to see Mr. Bon Soo rock out with his cock out!

...or as I like to call him, Mr. Hydrocephalus...tee hee...

C'est Bon Soo...

I'm a wuss.

The weather since the kick-off to Bon Soo has kept me hudled indoors under a blankie watching movies.

Plus Rob and I had company over the weekend. Rob's brother Dwayne and his girlfriend Jen came up to surprise their father Jim Slack on the occassion of his 60th birthday, which was on Sunday at the Elks Hall.

Jim is an Elk. A past Grand Poobah, actually. The real title is Exhalted Ruler but I can't bring myself to say those words with out bursting into uncontrollable fits of laughter. I prefer Grand Poobah, but he would kill me if he knew I called him that, so keep it under your hat. I like to keep him happy because (a) he is my father-in-law and (b) the Elks sponsor Buskerfest thanks to Jim Slack.

What does any of this have to do with Bon Soo?

Absolutally nothing.

However....


...Mr. Bon Soo was on hand briefly at the birthday celebration, shown here with the guest of honour. He was making an appearance at some sort of after-event-party that was taking place upstairs at the Elks and used the downstairs bar as a change room. It was a very strange site to see Mr. Bon Soo get felt up by a gang of men as the costume was assembled. Wish you could have been there.

So, Bon Soo, huh?

It has been years since I have taken in any Bon Soo events, I hate to say. About 14 years ago I was part of a Snomadness team. The Community Living Algoma Ice Breakers. That was the last time I did anything even remotely related to Bon Soo. Not sure why.

Could be I hate the cold. Could be that none of the entertainment appeals to me. Could just be laziness.

I plan to change this....after I borrow a snow suit from someone. I will go out and about to photograph some stuff and things.

Promise.

Pi in the Sky

Daniel Tammet is a British man. A brilliant British man.

Possibly the highest functioning autistic savant ever known, Daniel (known in the UK as Brainman) can perform astonishing calculations in his head and says that numbers form visual landscapes full of colour and texture, making some more attractive than others.

289 is very ugly.

333 is quite beautiful.

But for Daniel, the most beautiful number is the universe is Pi....π....

On March 14, 2004, Daniel astounded the world when he recited Pi to 22 514 decimal places with no mistakes in 5 hours and 9 minutes. He had it memorized. He still remembers it. Most of us get to 3.14159 and say "blah blah blah".

"It literally took me a few weeks to learn the number, and that was backwards as well as forwards."

Daniel also speaks 9 languages...well, 10 actually, if you count Mӓnti, a language he has created and has been speaking since he was a child.

He was put to the test when researchers challenged him to learn Icelandic in 7 days. He did it. After one week, Daniel appeared on Icelandic television and was interviewed.

He is a truly fascinating individual.

Just because...

I am posting the following pictures just because I like them. They may not be the best band pics, but for whatever reason, I happen to like them a lot.

Some are slightly out of focus. some are REALLY out of focus and some are happy accidents....little oopsies that I couldn't have achieved if I tried my darnedest to get 'em. Some of them you have seen before, some you haven't.

And I chatted with the House of Blues dude at the Hip show and he told me that as long as I don't put the Crue pics on t-shirts, mugs and stuff, I can do whatever the hell I want with them.

Fuckin' eh!

Ready for some Motley Crue?


...definitely an unplanned shot...the strobe light just happened to work in my favour...Mr. Nikki Sixx right at the beginning of the show...



...every photographer prays for a photo-op like this one...I nearly shit when he pointed at me...I blew him a kiss for it...he winked...my husband was proud of me for flirting with Nikki Sixx...



...Vince Neil...you can barely tell who it is but this shot really appeals to me...maybe it's the motion captured...I think it illustrates the energy of the show...



...two and a half members of Motley Crue...you can see a tiny bit of Mick Mars...how does Nikki get his hair to do that?...

And now for some Tragically Hip...





...a terrible shot but I LOVE it...not sure why...






...I think this one is my favourite out of all the Hip pics...the glare off my lens - sorry, Curt's lens - adds to the intensity of the moment...I need to use this one for a poster or something...

How Fitting

So, what did Miss Donna do on the eve of her second-last day of work for Rentcash Inc?

She watched the movie "Office Space."

And it made her feel a whole hell of a lot better about her decision to quit and not really have much lined up to take its place.

What?!

Donna quit her job?

Yes she did. She quit because she was tired of the corporate bullshit and the lack of comformity and the shitty pay and the disappointment and the sheer evilness of the payday loan industry the horrible "must walk on eggshells" feeling that permiated every waking moment there and the fact that she felt like throwing up every morning before she went to work.

Oh yea. Let's not forget the really, really stinky clients. I mean, we would have to Febreeze the entire office after some of these people left. So stinky that you could taste the odour.

That's fucking stinky.

So, she is virtually jobless now...well, as of 6:00pm Tuesday January 23, 2007. She has a part-time gig lined up but it's gonna be pretty freakin' tight in the 'ol Slackhopper household for the next bit.

Job Fair, here she comes!

When it comes down to it, all you really need to be happy is a red Swingline stapler.

The History of a Camera, Part II

Now that the craziness and sickness of the holiday season is behind me, I have found the time to publish the second installment of the History of My Camera. Here are the next 10 pics...


...the Sheriff from White Cowbell Oklahoma when they played at Foggy Notions...super fun show and I can't wait for their return...



...the Cousin Who Hath No Name, also from WCO @ Foggys...



...the singer of Paper Moon at their Downbeat gig...AWESOME band...



...a weird metal thingy behind the shed at Carrie's camp...having my camera set to a completely inappropriate exposure resulted in a neat photograph...



...I like lamps...and plants...



...another killer band, From Chimpan-A to Chimpan-Z as they rocked the DBL...



...from my first official band photo shoot...not the best of the bunch, but it was a really fun day...



...Bubba of WCO as they performed as Blue Velvet Kentucky at the DBL...



...another of my favourite Canadian indie bands, The Wheat Monkeys...terrible shot...



...a band who is currently making pretty big waves, the Tokyo Police Club...I have heard them played on Indie 103.1 out of L.A. and they recently got a couple of mentions in Rolling Stone...they're amazing...

...and now for a brighter note...

Sorry for all my gloom and "poor me" crap.

Here is something fun. A snippet from my favourite Christmas cartoon, "A Wish For Wings That Work"..



Emjoy!

This Christmas blows goats

Well, these have been my best friends for the last 3 days...


I have been sick on and off for about 2 months now, and naturally the worst of it has to hit at Christmas. I have no energy, one hell of a sore throat and chest, no voice at all, plenty of phlegm and a lot of hatred for viruses.

I missed all the fun stuff and it seriously bums me out; the Gates of Winter/IT/Startlefish show, Al Wood and Lindsay at Bottom's Up, the A&PHL, Dan Nystedt's house party, Shannon's birthday...this sucks...

I have barely been out of the house since work on Friday night.

...and James Brown died this morning...

Merry fucking Christmas.

Baby Jesus' Birthday and stuff...

At this time of year, stress, bills and tension mounts. Just keep in mind that the holidays are a time for family, friends and giving.

For the men out there who have no idea what to give their little lady, may I offer this suggestion?

Ya know, I may not like the guy's music that much, but every day I gain more and more respect for Mr. Timberlake.

Anyhoo, just for shits and gigles, here is my very own Christmas movie quiz for y'all. Good luck!

1. What length of pole would the singer of "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch" not touch him with?

2. What was the last thing the Grinch took from Cindy-Loo Hoo's house?

3. What was the name of the Grinch's dog? (yea, this is an easy one...)

4. What roll did Charlie Brown fill in the school Christmas play in "A Charlie Brown Christmas"?

5. What song did Lucy insist Schroder play in "A Charlie Brown Christmmas"?

6. What did Snoopy win an award for in "A Charlie Brown Christmas" and what place was he?

7. How did Opus get his letter to Santa in "A Wish For Wings That Work"?

8. What support group did Opus belong to in "A Wish For Wings That Work"?

9. What was Jack Skellington's dog's name in "A Nightmare Before Christmas"?

10. What did Sally entice Oogie-Boogie with in order to draw his attention away from Santa in a "Nightmare Before Christmas"?

11. Who did Lock, Shock and Barrel first kidnap, thinking he was Santa Claus in "A Nightmare Before Christmas"?

12. Who played Robin Willimas' character's military-minded cousin in "Toys"?

13. What was Yukon Cornelius searching for in "Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer"?

14. Why was the Abominable Snowman so angry in "Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer"?

15. Why was Hermey the elf a misfit in "Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer"? (yea, another easy one...)

Have fun and by all means, have a wicked-ass Christmas!!

The History of a Camera, Part Uno-The Love of Bands

So a while ago, Curt O'Neil started an interesting project on his blog and invited other photographers to take part...the history of their cameras in picture form. I decided it was cool, because I am after all the ultimate judge in coolness, and wanted to take part.

To read what he is getting at, click here. Too lazy to click there? Screw you, too bad. You miss out. I'm too lazy to explain it all and my laziness out-weighs your laziness on my blog.

Here are the first of the pics....


Milhouse. My best little guy and in love with the camera.


The Downbeat Lounge. My favourite watering hole and the inspiration for my band photography. Rest in peace.


Tracey Hilderly, the rockinest chick in the Sault, drumming with the Malcontents at the DBL. Note the Motley Crue t-shirt and the cowboy hat......nice!


Dustin Jones of the Inner Cuty Surfers. He rocks, he loves, he leaves. That's just what he does. The Surfers made me fall into a deep and insatiable addiction to live band photography.


Mikey Hawdon of the Inner Cuty Sufers. See the comments above. The same goes for him too.


Al Wood, Lindsay Pugh and Frank Deresti jamming at Loplops with some chicks whose name I don't remember. Not a great pic, by any stretch.


My lovely husband doing what he does best.


Trevor Heartless and Dan Nystedt posing with Rae Spoon, a Downbeat favourite and part of the bar's family.


I've always liked lamps.


Trevor Heartless during a late night, very drunk jam in the basement of the DBL.

There you have my first insallment of the history of my camera, which was purchased in March of 2006. I have taken over 12 000 pictures with it. I never plan to stop.

Ever.

Me 'n Motley Crue

Yes.

Finally a new post.

I know what you're thinking.

I don't love you any more.

I couldn't be bothered with the twos an twos of people that actually read my blog.

Now that I write for SooToday.com, I'm 'too good' to blog.

Well, my friends, none of these are true.

The fact of the matter is, I'm really fucking busy most of the time. And the times I have to myself, I spend sleeping or ... well, sleeping.

I also engage in the occasional adult beverage now and again, but since my injury I have cut that down quite a bit. My bank account thanks me.

So, as the title of this post indicates, I have recently had some dealings with the good old Motley Mother Fucking Crue. That's right, I had the honour of covering the show for SooToday.com, which meant I could take pictures (in a VERY limited capacity) at the show.

I was scared as shit.

I have never shot an arena show before.

I had no idea what to expect.

It was weird.

I showed up according to pre-arranged agreements with arena staff and it all turned out to be wrong.

I was pissed.

I then followed my nose as the toucan taught me and was able to at least get inside the doors. This made me a bit less pissed off.

I had borrowed lenses from all over the place and it turns out the one lens I should have grabbed was the one I did not.

FUCK!

You see, the media were only allowed to take pictures at the very front of the stage for the VERY FIRST SONG. During said first song ( and it turns out, for most of the show really) it was all smoke and strobe lights. These are not good for photographers. At least inexperienced ones like me.

I did get a fucking kick ass shot of Nikki Sixx pointing right at me, however. You'll have to wait to see it in a photo gallery on SooToday as I was forced to sign a waiver that stated I would not reproduce, sell or display the photos for any purpose other than SooToday.

Bummer.

Anyway, after the first song, we were ushered to the penalty box at the Steelback Centre, which is not REALLY far back, but far enough back that I was unhappy with the zoom I had borrowed. We were there for two songs and two songs exactly. No more, no less. The dude from House of Blues was very serious about his job and got us out of there right quick.

Then in order to get back into the show, I had to put my camera in the box office......or put it in my car. And since (a) most of the equipment I had was not mine and (b) my car was about 4 blocks away and it was freakin' cold out, I decided to lock it up in the box office.

After that, I found my friends in section 117 and proceeded to totally rock out with my cock out.....if I indeed had a cock it would have rocked the most, baby!

I had a fucking killer time at the show. But, unfortunately due to many circumstances, I am not overly happy with the pics. DAMN! I wish I could show them to you!

The fog, the back-lighting, my inexperience, the fact that Tommy Lee's drum riser was so high combined with him sitting so low behind them and that I opted to NOT borrow CO's lovely 200mm zoom lens result in me having a lot of regrets about this show....as a photographer.

As a rocker from way back, I tickled about the show.

I did not get one good shot of Tommy Lee and that seriously bums me out!!

But hey, it was my first big show and I have definetley learned from the experience. Next time I will know better.

Now all I want to do is get drunk and have sex with Tommy Lee...or maybe be Nkki Sixx. I haven't decided yet. They're both sexy as all get out.

Shit-Fuck-Damn.

I did get to leave with a very unique piece of memorabilia...

...my press pass...


...cool, huh?...

By all means, call me an idiot...

So you may or may not know this past past weekend was my birthday...October 29th to be exact. I had lots of plans and fun stuff and things in mind.

Well, Friday night happened and things went to hell in a hand basket.

It all started with a fantastic show at the Best Western as I went to cover Prairie Oyster for SooToday.com. Loved the show and got lots of great pictures of them. Lindsay Pugh and Jay Case were there. This made me very happy and we hung out and had a good time.

Then it was off to the Outback to see a killer band from Alberta, the Wheat Monkeys. I have seen them a few times before and was really looking foward to them. Unfortunately the lighting was really fucked up there so pictures were not going well. All of the stage lights were focused below the waist of all the band memebers so the only things that showed up were their legs and part of their guitars....no torsos or heads. It pissed me off a little.

Anyway, after a little chit chat with the band, Jay, Linds and I caught a cab down town for a few more frosty adult beverages. I wasn't drunk at this point but had a bit of a buzz on...thought it best not to drive.

Everything went down hill after that.

After drinking way too much, Jay and I shared a cab home. I had the cab driver drop me off on Wellington Street across from my house.

Bad move.

As I ran across the street, I tripped over the curb and took one hell of a nasty spill as I starfished flat on my face on the sidewalk.

The following are gruesome pictures of the resulting injuries....

....are you ready?


...this is the nasty road rash I got on my wrist trying to save my camera as I went down...




...this is the gash on my right knee...it hurts like a fucking bitch...




My left knee is also bruised and a bit swollen and my right elbow is stiff and sore. My ego is also bleeding profusely.

Yup, nothing like some disgusting oozing extremely painful injuries to make someone feel old on their birthday. Thankfully I have my own personal man-nurse....Steve Olsen.

And my camera? Well, it is damaged a bit but still works. The lens has to be replaced shortly, however.

Please, by all means, feel free to call me an idiot. I have numerous times.

Men, the fate of our planet, as well as your pecker, is in your hands...

Please, won't somebody think of the children while in the using the facilities!



It's amazing just how inportant the little things in life really are.

The Day I Killed Lars: The Tale of the Weekend That Could Not Be Resuscitated: Friday

There could have been so many different titles for this post, such as;

WOW, The Townehouse Really Smells Bad!

Do Gummie Worms Poo Cookies?

How My Life Long Dream of Visiting Port Severn Was Fulfilled

Dan, Are You Sure The Gas Station is Just Around The Corner?

I Have Never Been This Wet Without Being in The Shower or Swimming

Air mattresses Suck Ass and Can Rot in Hell!

I Stood in The Rain For Four and a Half Hours...FUCK IT!! I'm Buying a T-shirt...

Those Creepy Houses on The Side of The Highway By Blind River Truly ARE Creepy

I used the Lars one because it was the first one I thought of. What a fucking weekend. Where do I start?

As you know, Dan and I went to Toronto to see Rancid and Ben Harper. This little adventure has been in the works for about two months. I have been excited for this weekend since I ordered the tickets from Ticket Master. The night before we were to leave, I could not sleep. I decided to log on to MySpace and just look around. My heart sank as I read this bulletin posted by Alex of "The Ripcordz"...(remember, he is very French and his English is not the greatest...these are not spelling mistakes on my part...)

Just coming back from the Rancid show, they had to stop after 6 songs, Lars collapsed on the stage...It was really weird, he went straight to the hospital, i heard something to do with medication he had to take for allergies... Aniway after a while Tim annonced that they will come back to do another one for everibody who had ticket for that night...
The beginning if the show was great aniway though they all seems a bit tired...

@lex

I immediately called Dan. No answer. I then called the Downbeat. No answer. SHITFUCKDAMN!!!

A soon as Dan got to my house in the morning I told him about what I had heard. He called his friend Steve in Toronto who was going to the show with us. Steve said he would look into the situation and call us to let was know what was going on. We hit the road around 8:30 with plenty of coffee and cigarettes and a tight grip on our dreams that Rancid will not cancel.

...at this point, we are still happy at the rest stop where we ate bananas and used the bathroom...


...about ten minutes past the rest stop and about five minutes from Sudbury, we got the call from Steve telling us not to hurry...both Rancid shows in Toronto were cancelled...this is an unhappy Dan on the phone with Steve as we lunched at the Laughing Buddha...we also made a pit stop at the Townehouse...what a stinky dive...wow...

Seriously bummed out, we left Sudbury following our lovely lunch and continued to Toronto. Had it not been for our Saturday evening Ben Harper tickets, we would have just turned around and gone home. We still have Ben Harper to look forward to, right? We were happy about that. I was now driving.

"It's all my fault, Dan. I was bragging all day at work that I was going to see Rancid. I did it."

"I'm pretty sure your bragging did not give Lars Fredriksen a degenerative bone disease, Donna. It's not your fault." Dan laughed.

Dan fell asleep. We were low on gas but had plenty to get us to Parry Sound. No problem. I'll just stop there. Dan awoke just past Noble and we chatted. As I was about to turn into Parry Sound, Dan told me not to, that there was a gas station just around the corner on the side of the highway we can stop at.

"Are you sure Dan? That's not sounding familiar to me."

"Positive." he said.

We drove on.....and on......and on.....and on....no gas station. Crap. The situation is desperate. I start laughing as I come to terms with that fact that we will, very shortly, run out of gas. My first time ever.

And just as I turned off the highway to go into Port Severn (never been there), it happens.

...and there we are just seconds from port severn on the side of the road, gasless...Dan had a good walk, though...

...and there I was on the side of the road trying to keep myself amused as hundreds of people just drove by without one ounce of concern for my well being...jerks...

...Dan was only gone for about 20 minutes...a nice contractor guy with plenty of empty Coors light cans in his truck, and one in his hand, gave Dan a ride back...

On the road once more. Dan is driving again. We talk and joke and listen to really really loud music. Dan is upset that I have never seen the movie "Garden State". We get to Toronto about 8:00 without further incident.

At Grant's house (Dan's friend we are crashing with) we are met by Marty...

...this is Marty...say 'hi' Marty...he is a friendly, playful, cute and VERY large what I believe to be a Lab/St. Bernard mix...I like him a lot...

With no Rancid show, Dan and I wondered downtown to see what else was up. Turns out not a whole lot. We paid a quick visit to "Suspect Video" where their answer to everything I asked for was "No, but we can order it for you." Yeah, ya know what? I can order it too, dumb-ass. I did find a copy of "Another State of mind" for Rob cheaper than the Social Distortion website. This made me happy.

We continued to wonder. We ended up at the Horseshoe drinking free shots of Jack Daniels on the patio...some sort of promotional thing for "Deadwood" which is premiering on the History Channel soon...or already has...I don't know. I wasn't really paying attention. The band playing next door was fun and I met a very cute puppy named Benny...

...this is me and Benny...say 'hi' Benny...

...this is Dan and I on the Horseshoe patio enjoying the freaks and text messages from Shannon and booze and weird Toronto night air...

Naturally we were hungry, so naturally we went to Amato's on the way home to indulge in some of the best pizza on the planet...two slices for each of which is actually enough to feed four people. What the hell. A bit more wondering...

...this is Dan poking fun at his singlehoodness...yes, that is a wedding dress...

...this is Dan trying to look deep and serious in front of one of those annoying poster plastered walls...

We get back to Grant's and he immediately puts in "Garden State" which I loved and decided I must own. Grant and Mel arrive home after their friend's wedding and we are finally introduced. We smoke and chat and watch the rest of the movie. They inflate my bed for me and we say our good nights...

About three hours after the lights went out, I awoke ever so uncomfortable. My hip and shoulder are KILLING me. The air mattress has deflated. I spent the rest of my sleepless night getting up every couple of hours to blow up my bed...

...that was Friday...

Some Ups and Downs

AN UP - Buskerfest is over and done with for another year and it was a huge success. Thank you to all the sponsors, volunteers, spectators and performers that made this year amazing.

A DOWN - The son of a long-time friend of Rob's died recently. Very sad and tragic...he was only 24 years old.

AN UP - We got to visit with a long-time friend of Rob's who we haven't seen since our wedding back in 2000. Just wish it was under happier circumstances.

A DOWN - Rob's Grandmother passed a way at the age of 89 on Monday night. Rob is currently in Brockville for the funeral. Thank you to Jay and Carrie for the truck loan. You guys rock! By the way, if anyone is thinking of flying to Brockville for any reason, DON"T. A return flight from the Sault is over $1700.00, if you can even believe that!!

AN UP - Danner and I will be leaving bright and early tomorrow morning for the Big Smoke to see Rancid on September 1 at the Kool Haus and then Ben Harper on September 2 at the Molson Amphitheatre. Very exciting!

A DOWN - Rancid never even read the multiple messages I sent them through MySpace requesting permission to photograph their show in Toronto. I'm sad.

AN UP - I will be seeing Tim Armstrong in the flesh....fuckin' eh....

A DOWN - I am trying to not spend money in order to accommodate the up coming instalation of new windows in my house, so no merch purchases for me at the aforementioned concerts. It is going to take every fibre of will in me to not buy merch...I'm a sucker for the stuff.

AN UP - I'm getting new windows soon and the sun is shining.

A DOWN - My dogs will suffer serious separation anxiety while we are gone. Thankfully, Shauna has aggreed to stay with them over night. Thanks baby!

AN UP - I went to the second Beer Tasting at Loplops lastnight with Patti and George and it was a religious experience. One of the beers was the Mill St. Coffee Porter. Are you even fucking kidding me with that?! It combines two of my most favouritest things in the world and was utterly devine......must....get....more....NOW!!

A DOWN - There are no signs that Social Distortion will be on tour anywhere in the area any time soon. Dammit! I need another dose of that Mr. Ness....

AN UP - Due to Rob's recent record review on his blog, Les Becker has become a fan of Social D. Gooble-gobble, gooble-gobble, one of us, one of us....

Blogelation...Julio's Buskerfest Rerun Dance...

This took me forever to do and the quality of the photos is not the greatest because I had to compress the video in order to upload it into YouTube, but here it is anyway. Not bad for my first attempt at using iMovie, I think...

...oh yea...turn your volume up...waaaaay up...



Please let me know what you think...

Blogelation..."Ready to upload 849 photos?"...

This what iPhoto said to me this morning when I plugged in my memory card. It was at that point I decided I should burn some of the 4782 pictures I have stored on my computer onto discs in order to make room for the new batch. I suppose it would be smart for me to back them up anyway...this is gonna take me a while. *sigh*

849 PHOTOS!! What the hell?! Will someone please tell me to stop taking pictures?....II just can't help myself. I think I need to go to rehab or something.

So all in all, I think Buskerfest went fairly well. No major injuries. No kids passed out from heat stroke. Only a couple of disputes among the performers, although they were a cause of enormous stress for me and gave me pimples. And only one small child got accidentally lit on fire.

This year's group of performers was a blast to hang with...and they could all pound back the booze like sailors on leave, especially our two french ladies...WOW!! And every single one of them had great things to say about Sault Ste. Marie.

Jeff Krahn, AKA Scot Free, said his Saturday evening show was one of his favourites ever and he has been doing this for 15 years. The Coralies kept teling how friendly everyone was and said although it was a small festival, it was one of their favourites. Jeff Hill said he fell in love with Sault Ste. Marie and the people here the first time he performed here in 2004. He really wants to come back next year. The USA Break Dancers loved the food...and the ladies...and the Hennessy. During our final dinner at Gran Festa Sunday evening, everything was quiet as we enjoyed our meals, and out of the blue in a loud, deep voice Julio exclaimed, "FUCK IT!! Screw Toronto and lets stay here for another weekend. The food here is too fuckin' good!"

Making the performers happy and welcome iis one of the prime objectives of the Buskerfest Committee, so these little things mean a lot to me. We want the word to spread in the busker world that the Sault is the place to be. We may be smaller but we're better.

Alright...enough chit chat. On to the momment you've been waiting for. Pictures.

...the Pirate...thanks again, Mark...


The USA Break Dancers...







Ivan Bellari, the fire guy...
...he lights himself on fire...cool...

...the flaming comb over...funny...

...some amazing fire breathing...



The Coralies...



Jeff Hill...I still can't watch the razorblade trick...*shudder*


...Scot Free...




Trulee Odd...


The Buskerfest Cabaret at Loplops Lounge...that was funny and freaky shit!...
...that's me on fire!...

...that's Jessica on fire!...

...that's a funny shot of Curt in my way...nice goin', dude...

...that's Scot Free as "Fesso the Clown" in a bra...

...that's Trule Odd in the thong we bought at the sex shop...

...that's a bunch of bloggers looking at Trulee Odd in the thong...

...that's a couple of white dudes layin' down some phat beats for the break dancers...


That's all for now folks. Remember the whole 849 picture thing? Yea...it's gonna take me a while to sort them all, but I wanted to share a few of my favourites with y'all. Check back soon for more...and more....and even more...

CHEERS!!

Blogelation...the Cabaret in a Nut Shell

Buskerfest Cabaret...Loplops Lounge...I got lit on fire and Scot Free took a picture of Mark Hohmann's junk...'nuff said.

Blogelation...Busker Sex Shop Run

Ever gone to a sex shop with a Busker?...no?...well I have and it was weird. Apparently Trulee Odd needed to get a thong for this eve's Cabaret Show. What kind of thong did he get and will it actually stay on? Attend the more adult themed Buskerfest Cabaret happening tonight at Loplops Lounge to find the answers to these pressing questions. Start time about 11:00pm. Ticket price; $10.00.

Keep your eyes peeled for the Buskerfest Photo show coming soon to Salckhopper's Stuff and Things...

Blogelation...Buskerfest Day One Done

Buskerfest's first day is now said and done with and I am tired as fuck...you heard me.

All the acts were amazing...at least on the stage. We seem to have hired ourselves a couple of prima donnas this year who shall remain nameless...UNLESS they cause me to melt down again...then, boys, I'm sorry but the magic gloves will come off and you'll cry like little girls.

Yes, the rest of the committee has told me I do not have to be there for the beginning on Saturday in order to give me a break. In all honesty, I more than likely will be there for the beginning anyway because I want to catch the acts and take more pictures.

So now on to the performances...

I caught all of the USA Break Dancers and they blew me away. In fact, I have a funny story about them witch made me very excited. Less than a week ago I saw a documentary called "Style Wars" at Shannon and Maria's place...a documentary about the whole graffiti/break dancing movement in New York City in the early 80's. In said documentary there was an AMAZING break dancer named "Crazy legs" who revolutionized and ushered in the break dancing style we see today. Turns out two of our own USA Break Dancers, Cuba and Will...aaahhh, Will...all I will say is "YUMMM"...anyway, their very first break dancing instructor was none other than, you guessed it, Crazy Legs. I found that really freakin' cool...and impressive...and just down right neat-o.

I also had the pleasure of viewing all of Ivan Bellari's show. He is one of only seven people in the world who does what he does...fire breathing. It was a more than impressive spectacle of flame and...well...more flame. Visually stunning. He weighs 400 pounds and eats fire and can be kinda scarey...but he's really a big pussy cat. Don't be scared, kids.

I only caught snippets of jeff Hill, the Coralies, Trulee Odd and Scot Free. From what I saw, they are all top notch entertaineers...very funny and very talented...and I plan on seeing and photographing all their performances tomorrow.

Right now I need to sleep...and find more volunteers to cover tomorrow night. Wanna help? Call me. So tired.

Did you know when you do spell check in blogger and it comes across the word "freakin'", it thinks the most suitable replacement word is "foreskin"?...and now I giggle...

Blogelation...and it begins...

So after some insanity this morning and only about two melt downs on my part, Steve saved me with the ever-reviving 12 CCs of suds and Buskerfest is officially under way.

The time is currently 5:56 in the pm and there is a good crowd of all ages gazing in delight and wonder at the oddities in the pitch. Two acts have performed; Trulee Odd and Jeff Hill, both of which wowed our fair city. The USA Break Dancers are up next and I am STOKED!!

...will write more soon...

yay buskerfest!

Buskerfest Blogelation: Prologue

The Buskers have arrived. We have consumed adult frosty beverages...and make shift tex mex food. The pitch has been surveyed. The piper is booked. My head has not yet exploded.

The event is set to kick off tomorrow at 3:30 in the pm and all seems to be going according to the grand scheme...that scheme being that no one who is not supposed to gets lit on fire, the public is entertained and I don't murder someone in the mean time....

...oh yea...and that my husband doesn't leave me 'cuz I have been ignoring him for the past 6 months...that's a biggie...

This is the third year for this oh so unique Sault festival and it keeps getting bigger and bigger every year. Six acts, three days and more entertainment than you can shake a devil stick at. What more do you want? Here are the official festival times;

Friday August 11 - 3:30 to 10:30
Saturday August 12 - 11:30 to 10:30 with the more adult Cabaret happening at Loplops at around 11:30
Sunday August 13 - 10:30 to 6:30

Be there or I will be forced to send Ivan after you and he eats small children and lights himself on fire for amusement...'nuff said.

I Have Seen The Light...But In A Completely "God May or May Not Exist" Sort of Way...

Ummm...yea....I just saw one of the best bands I think to ever come through the Sault. They blew me and everyone else in attendance at Loplops away. They are the Agnostic Mountain Gospel Choir.

Not only do they have a really cool name, their sound is...well...I picture it this way; Muddy Waters, Tom Waits and Hank III went on a week long bender and at the end of said bender they puked up the Agnostic Mountain Gospel Choir.

...yea, that works...

I bought a disc and plan on playing for anyone who will listen. I plan on playing it so much, it'll have to be replaced next week. I plan on driving everyone I know crazy with it until they love the music as much as I do. I plan on figuring out how to post a song on this here blog to spread the word and share the music...it must be done.

...stupid audioblog...

So...

I tried the Audioblog thing and it doesn't seem to like me much. I recorded it two days ago as a test and it failed....not only does it not play, but it took two freakin' days to even show up as a post. I will investigate further and try again...maybe. It's a long distance # you have to dial in order to do it so maybe that is where the problem lies.

I just thought it would be cool for me to post audioblogs on location when seeing a cool band and stuff.

....hmmmm....that's a noodle scratcher indeed....

Clerks and Goth and Puppies and the Simple Things That Make One Giggle

Kevin Smith does it again. Clerks II will not disappoint any fan of he original. It is brilliant. So mush so, that I am going for a second look this evening. There are two aspects of this movie that, for me, make it worth multiple viewings; 1. The actor that plays Elias is fanfreakintastic...hope to see him in many more flicks, and 2. the Jason Mewes homage to "Silence of the Lambs"...and not the one that has appeared in trailers...the OTHER one...those of you who have seen the movie know what I am talking about, but I will not spoil it for those of you who have not. Trust me...it's funny...

I give it two "even cowgirls get the blues" sized thumbs up....




So after taking a look at the above album cover, you may think the band is some sort of crazy metal goth thing....right? Wrong. Although this is one of the worst album covers I have ever owned (if the band ever reads this, I am sorry, but it truly is the cheeziest album cover I have ever seen...love the music though), the band completely kicks ass. They are Bluessmyth and they played last Friday night at Loplops Lounge. They are not Goth nor are they Metal...they are a blues trio from Calgary with a lead singer/guitar player who is model hot...I mean REALLY hot. They are a cross between the Allman Brothers and Hendrix and I really liked them and he was hot...did I mention the singer was hot? Check 'em out. I bought both CD's 'cause they were hot...I mean really good...

....and hot....



Since Craig has not posted any pics of his new family members, I will. World, meet Nietzsche and Bear (AKA Malcom as I had originally named him), puppies meet world. I never thought I would describe something of Mr. West's as cute but for the love of God these little guys are down right adorable!...



...almost as cute as my little guy, Milhouse...but a lot less crazy. Ah, the life with a Jack Russell Terrier. Never boring and he eliminates the need for a doorbell.

And now for things that made me giggle recently...

I went to the grocery store yesterday to buy my favourite bread, only available at Rome's, and the muzak was priceless. As I entered the store, the lovely melody of "Rain Drops Keep Falling on My Head" greeted me....and I laughed....and got side ways looks from those around me. Whatever, that shit is funny in my world. One of the corniest songs ever recorded made cornier....I love it! And not for the "Butch Cassidy" connection, but for the "Clerks II homage to Butch Cassidy" connection...

....see how it has come full circle?...I like circles...

...and then my memory card caught fire...

Ok, so it didn't really catch fire, but I did shoot about 800 photos over the last week. There was a lot of stuff and things happeneing 'bout town. Here are a few highlights...


...this is myself with Shauna and John...I met John at the Downbeat lounge...he is from the UK and is spending 5 weeks touring Canada...I gave him a 4 hour tour of the area; Kinsmen Park, Mockingbird Farm, Gros Cap, cottage country, the shitty and the ritzy neighbourhoods, the canal...it were fun, eh...



"I'm a chicken hawk and yer a chicken. Now are ya gonna come quietly or do I hafta muss ya up?!"...God I love Foghorn Leghorn...



"Sure, Lisa....one magical animal..." God I love the Simpsons....



...cheezy shot, I know, but I thought it was cool none the less...

Second Satge, of course, ate up a huge chunk of my time this weekend. I did not mind, however, as it was a stellar opportunity to shoot local talent. I loved every second of it and am extremely pleased with the outcome. Rather than write about the event, I'll show you how damn cool it was....











...there are far too many pics to post here...for more shots of Second Stage, please visit my photo blog...thank you...

I also got to meet some fellow bloggers I had been reading for quite some time...


...I wonder who this could be?...Canadian Mark?...the Pirate?...or Hohmann maybe?...this man has many names, but I just call him the Boardwalk Piper...nice to finally meet you, Mark...I tried to sneak up on him to snap some shots, but he spotted me through his third eye which is apparently in the back of his head...also met Les Becker but the heat stroke affected me so much that I forgot to snap a shot of her...BAD BLOGGER!!...

...and I met some blogger pets...


...Domino...which is longer?...his tongue or his ears?...how was the dog drool bath, Rob?...


...and Fozzy...ready to go home, I guess...

And finally something I never thought I would see in the Sault...well at least not until Buskerfest anyway...


...yes, my friends...that is a break dancer at the Downbeat Lounge...it was very cool...again, visit my photo blog for more pics of this young fella doin' his thang...what are you waiting for?

Don't Make Me Get the Lemmings Out....

...if you do not attend, I will be forced to drop rabid lemmings down your pants...don't make me do it, 'cuz I will...

"Celebrate the birth of your Nation by blowing a small part of it up"

Happy Canada day!! John Doucette has the right idea...and possibly the biggest Canada flag in town. Good job Mr. Doucette.

I had a weekend chock full 'o fun and hi-jinx with only one small injury sustained when Dustin Jones beaned me in the foot with a drumstick...it hurt like a bastard and I have an impressive bruise to prove it. I think I shot about 500 pictures in all and I am now VERY busy going through and editing them.

After about a year of begging, I finally got my picture taken laying on the hood of Bella...Robbie Adamson's totally sweet '61 Chevy Belair...this made me very happy although I am slightly concerned I may have dented her hood a bit...



Tonight is Jon Rae and the River at the downbeat Lounge. Rob and I will be in attendance with bells on to round out our crazy musical Canada Day weekend. I suggest everyone else do the same...